Tuesday, February 27, 2007

what excites me?

Today a very exciting thing happened in our house! The most exciting thing this whole year!

Big Boy POOPED in the POTTY!!! YES he did and we did the poopy in the potty dance and he got a new car (that he has already lost!!!). We are so proud!

Monday, February 26, 2007


Well after 4 days of rest I set out to hit the pavement again tonight. I ran as far as the end of the house next to us and had to turn around and walk home. My knee was hurting pretty badly. It is not the worst pain I've ever felt, but it is pain and it is worse when I run. I was telling the hubby last night that I am constantly aware of it. Not that it hurts all day long, but I just feel this uncomfortable feeling in my knee. If I stand up and immediately stand on that one leg then my knee hurts, if I am sitting and turn it the wrong way it hurts, and tonight when I started running it was hurting even worse.

So, I've contacted my local Y and am going to have someone check me out. They'll tell me one of three things - either #1. you need to rest a little bit longer and then get back to running, or #2 you should see a doctor, or #3 you are a big BABY get back out there and run!!! I'll keep you up to date on the outcome.

So after feeling like a complete looser for running 43 seconds and turning around I decided to try one more time. So, I ran around my block and limped for the first half. Then is started feeling a little better but still hurt so I went inside. It is sore now and I think tomorrow I may try the treadmill so I can go slower and it will be softer on my legs than the pavement outside. I'll probably walk the most, but honestly I have to work out. I am starting to enjoy this running stuff and have MISSED it so badly these past few days. I've felt awful for not running and felt as though I was loosing ground.

Any thoughts?

Friday, February 23, 2007

Cuteness ...

Is it okay for me to think my boys are the CUTEST boys ever. I am so in love with them and they continue to crack me up. Today we got out of the house to go to Target and visit Laura at the mall and they both wore hats (well in the car at least - they didn't last much longer!). Big boy insisted on this hat and little boy ... oh my is he a looker in that baseball hat! Little boy had Big boy and I cracking up laughing tonight after baths. OH my goodness. He discovered a new noise he could make wiht his mouth and he wouldn't stop and we were laughing and that was making him do it even more. Oh they are fun!

Look at this picture that Big Boy drew for me today.

He told me that this is his little brother. You see the crazy hair on top, his eyes, nose and mouth wide open with his tongue sticking out. He said he is crying! On the side we have two ears that are bigger than his stick arms!!! He loves to draw faces and I think for three he gets things in the right places at least! He is so serious too when he is drawing. I think Big Boy is going to be artsy like his daddy and Little boy into sports like his mommy! We'll see where God leads them!

Thursday, February 22, 2007


Scared is how I'm feeling right now. Scared for my boys and what their future may hold. I just watched Oprah from yesterday and it scared me to death. She had a man on there that was kidnapped in 1974 at the age of 13, and held captive for 18 months. She also had Elisabeth Smart's dad on there and Bill O'Riley as well. The show was very emotional, scary, and informative.

The laws in our country have got to change. It is awful that someone that has been convicted of a crime against a minor can EVER be let out of jail. It is not fair for the other children and families in this world.

Oprah says that you can go to her website (www.oprah.com - I'm guessing) and print out letters to send to your Senator and Governor on this issue. I will have Aaron print these off for me since I'm not getting on the internet until after Easter. :)

After watching this I spent some time in the boys room praying over them and crying in fear of the unknown. I prayed for so many protections over my boys, our family and our house. I am asking God to give me wisdom way beyond my years as a parent. Allow me to be able to discern evil and protect my family. Keep my children aware of their lives and the people around him. Give them strength to discern evil from good. Show me when to keep them close and when to let allow them to spread their wings.

Random things.

Here are a few random things I would like to talk about today:

1. Ash Wed was yesterday and I didn't even know it until half way through the day. I found a blogger who wrote about Lent. Here it is: Lacey and Ginger. Also check out this site on Wilkipedia about Lent.

2. A person made a comment on my last post about Ash Wed and Lent that explains a lot. Check out the comments section under that post.

3. I have decided what I will give up for lent - the Internet (except for emails and blogging - but i will not be reading blogs) I will also give up Diet Coke. Wow, I can't believe I just said that. I think that the Diet Coke will be harder than the Internet! I had my last diet coke today and just read the blogs I subscribed to. So, hopefully after 40 days of no diet coke I can give it up for good, and I will have much more time for other stuff since I won't be reading any blogs.

4. I have been thinking a lot about Lent and Ash Wed and I wish that this was a more common practice among people other than Catholics. I think it is a great season to reflect on what Christ did for us when he died on a cross for our sins. Just as Lacey said in her blog, I think we all need to be reminded of the gift that God gave us. We can tend to slack, and hopefully I will be reflecting daily on this gift and will not easily forget the free gift of salvation and freedom that God has granted me through his son, Jesus Christ.

5. I recently finished SHEPHERDING A CHILD'S HEART by Ted Tripp and enjoyed it. I recommend it and Aaron and I will take the book and it's suggestions and mold it to fit our family. One thing that I am going to try to much harder to do is to require first time obedience from my children. YES, I do want that, but it is hard and takes lots of work. So, I will begin working on my children and their obedience.

6. I am now on to a book that Aaron recently finished and is highly recommending me to read - THE SECRET MESSAGE OF JESUS by Brian D. McLaren - I'll keep you updated as I go.

7. MY knew hurts so badly that I am not running today or tomorrow. UGH!

So, I pray that God will too move in you to remind you daily of the love that he has for you and the over pouring of blessings that he bestows upon us. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice, and thank you God for pursuing me even when I was wondering and feeling as though I knew it all. I pray that over these days of sacrifice that I will reflect daily on the gifts you have blessed me with.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

5 miles!

I don't remember the last time I ran 5 miles. Probably over 10 years ago in high school cross country! Oh my gosh today my body ran for 51 minutes and 21 seconds without stopping. Boy am I proud! After 3 miles I had to pass by our house and Aaron was outside cheering me on - I LOVED that!

Yeah for me! Now I am on the floor in the living room watching THE VIEW on my tivo with my leg propped up and ice on my right knee which was killing me the whole time I was running!

One day closer to my goal!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Lent and Ash Wed

I have noticed lately that most of my thoughts that don't involve kids, meals, diapers, bath time, or bed time occur to me during my workouts. This is the first time I've worked out this much since high school. It is hard and most days I dread it, but there is something about being out on the road alone with your thoughts. You can concentrate more and can think things all the way through without any interruptions. For this, I am loving running on the road. At the Y, I plug my head phones into the TV and watch TV, but out on the road it's me, my ipod and my thoughts. LOVE IT!

Today my ipod shuffled from Bon Jovi, Coldplay, Charlie Hall, Faith Hill, John Mayer, Will Smith, Matt Redman, Something Corporate and Spur58. I think that Aaron could have bought me the shuffle since that is what I do, just shuffle from song to song. It keeps things fresh and I never know what is coming up. I can go from "Blessed be your name" to "Getting Jiggy with it" and love it. I only keep one ear plugged with the music so I can hear if the big bad wolf is coming to get me and because my mom said it's not good to workout with your headphones in b/c of blood flow to your ear and your heart .... not sure about that one, but if you can confirm that let me know!

Okay, back to the point of this post ....

As I was running today my mind wondered back to a subject that it has wondered to quite frequently since I read a book last summer called Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is looking for an easy read and a great encouragement. This is Lauren's memoir and it takes you down her journey from Orthodox Judaism to Christianity. I loved it.

What it brought my mind to again was lent and ash Wednesday. I am a little embarrassed to admit that I am not sure where ash Wednesday or lent originated, or even what it means. Does this make me a bad Christan? I am willing to take the label of bad Christian and ask my questions. Why do people put the ashes on their forehead? What does it represent? Why do they give stuff up for lent? Did I miss this somewhere along my 28 years of church? Is it because I grew up Southern Baptist that I don't know much about either one of these? I am going to research this more and find out where it started, what it means, and what it means for me.

If you have all these answers, I would love to hear them. BUT please don't make me feel stupid if you feel a though I should know this as a believer. I want to know.

Monday, February 19, 2007

at the end.

Today as I was running at the gym I noticed an elderly couple coming into the Y. The man had a head full of gray hair and looked tired, as if his days are long. His wife was being pushed by him in her wheelchair. As they entered the Y, a smile immediately formed on my face as I thought of the life that these two have created together.

I don't know these people and I could be totally wrong, but I would like to think that they have lived a great life and still love each other and just enjoy being together. I hope that his devotion to her is true and that she still adores him and laughs at his jokes, just as she did when they first met. I think he still looks at her and sees the most beautiful woman alive. To be together with one person for that long is basically unheard of these days. When someone makes it to a ten year anniversary we think that they have truly lived and truly loved. When the truth is God has so much more in store for us, if we would just stick it out.

This husband went on to help his lovely wife out of her wheelchair and onto the bike so that she could do her exercises for the day. What an honor for her to have her lover still by her side even when things aren't exactly going the best. She is unable to do certain things for herself, and to have her husband continue to be there is an accomplishment in its self. True love. Lasting Love. Love worthy of love.

Seeing this couple brought my mind thinking back to a place where it has been quite often lately. I can't stop thinking about my life. You see, I want to do big things in life. I want to make a difference. I want to effect this world in a great way. These desires have been stiring in my for a while now, and I can't help but wonder if I'm the only stay at home mom that has these feelings. There has to be more to my life than diapers and play dates. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, I LOVE my life, but there has to be more.

I can only hope and pray that when I am old and Aaron is helping me on the bike at our local YMCA that I can look back and know that I did great things. That I made a difference on this earth. That I did exactly what God had created me to do.

So, for now I will continue to ask God to open doors for me to do things for him. To allow me to see people's needs and love them with a heart that is truly wanting to love them. To love them as Jesus would love them, with all he had.

I do know one thing and that is that I do not want to get to the end of my life and feel as though I haven't truly lived.

God show me how you want me to live......

Don't feel like it

This is a day I DO NOT feel like running. Hubby is home! Kids are being so good! Hubby and I are sitting at the kitchen table, talking and catching up, drinking coffee and checking emails. Pure bliss!

But I will eventually go run ......

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Little boy is sick

No church for us today. I LOVE our new church and hate to miss (isn't that a cool feeling!), but today the little one is under the weather. He started with fever last night and today still has fever. He is now napping and I haven't heard a peep out of him. I think he just feels poopy today.

I do hate when my kids are sick. It is so sad. It is funny how I am realizing that they each handle things differently. For example, when big boy is sick he seems to just act "bad" and usually gets in trouble all day long until I finally realize that he is sick and is acting that way because he doesn't feel well. Little boy is whiny and wants to be held. I don't mind that at all and cherish holding my boys when they truly need me! It makes me feel special that they just want to be with me.

Isn't it funny how people in life can deal with things so different and be going through the same thing. For me I just want to be held. When things aren't going as they should I need someone that loves me so much to just be with me and hold me. I am not a retreat kind of person, I am a take-care-of-me kind of person when things aren't going as they should.

Just like little boy wants me to hold him today and I was more than willing to do this for him while he wasn't feeling well is exactly how our heavenly Father is. He desires to hold us and guide us always when we are in need. We have to be willing to let him do this for us. Don't retreat when things aren't going as they should, crawl up into your Heavenly Father's arms and allow him to comfort you for as long as you need it. He desires to do this, just as I desire to do this for my boys.

On a seperate note, God has graciously allowed me to sleep until 8 AM two days in a row. My boys have slept later than usual and I have been able to sleep later than usual as well. I have been so tired this week and the extra hour has done me VERY well. Thanks God for giving me just what I needed! Now with all my extra energy I'm off to clean some yucky bathrooms! Big Boy is potty training and pp always seems to drip all the way down the side of the toilet .... that is a whole other post though ..... off to clean!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Ashes Ashes We All Fall Down ....

Tonight I had a revelation of what I'm in store for in my future years of child rearing. I realized that I am NOT the only one influencing my child. I mean I know this because we go to church where he is influenced, he stays with friends that influence him, I have him in preschool where he is influenced, so this should not come as a surprise to me, but tonight it hit me like a ton of bricks.

We were in the kitchen after dinner and C wanted to dance, so we held hands and started going in a circle. I immediately started singing ring-around-the-rosie and to my surprise, he joined in with me. It caught me so off guard, because to the best of my recollection I can not ever remember singing this with him, but in spite of that he still knew the song. Right there I realized that someone else had taught him this song. Someone else had showed him the "we all fall down" part and it wasn't me. Someone else had influence over my child.

I know that this sounds corny, but to me it was a moment. A moment of fear and excitment all in one. Fear for the things that I don't want him to be influenced with, but I know he will. Excitment in thinking about all the wonderful people in his life that will infuence him for good things. It made me think of how much we as parents need to be influencing our children so that hopefully our influences will out weight the "other" influences of the world. It also forces me to be aware of where my child is and who is there to influence him.

For our three year old, I'm pretty confident that right now the people with influence over him are positive and reenforcing what we are doing at home. I will pray diligently for positive influence on my boys.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Valentine cookies

My friend, April, that I work with helped her sister with a fundraiser for their upcoming Guatemala adoption. They made cookies and suckers for Valentine's day and raised $1500! Isn't that amazing! I love adoption fundraisers. They take someone laying down their pride and saying, hey we need help! Help us! I love to help!

I bought a cookie for each of my loves! C loved it and even licked it forever until we made him eat it!

Valentine's gifts for teachers

I am NOT crafty.
I will NEVER claim to be crafty.

BUT I did make these!

listening to people

I am discovering something about myself that I don't like. In fact, before these last few weeks I would have denied this ever happening to me. I am discovering that at sometimes I can be a bad listener. I can hear what someone is saying, but not truly hear them. Not hear their life, and not hear their pain, struggles, and joys, BUT just hear their voice. I feel as though sometimes when I am listening and talking to someone that might not interest me all that much I basically hear the voice from Charlie Brown. You know the teacher that Charlie and friends understand but we never can. I hate this about me, and now that I realize I have made some changes.

This week was good for me because I have started to see the benefits of really listening. I have an acquaintance that I see often but wouldn't necesarily say we are friends that would hang out outside of where we see each other every once in a while. I have been struggling with this person and feeling as though we would never have anything to talk about and never have a normal relationship. Well this week I listened. I truly listened to her. It was great. I let her talk and actually processed in my brain what she was saying instead of thinking of my next words to say. I felt great after our conversation.

Another example that I am terrible at is babysitters. (If you are my babysitter and reading this, I apologize!) When I get home from wherever I've been I don't want to talk. I want to pay the sitter, them leave, and me get back to life. This week I had a sitter and we talked for about 35 minutes after I got home before she left. I listened to her and was interested in what she was saying. I knew that I had not truly listened to her before when she had to tell me stuff that she has already mentioned to me before.

So, here I am out in the open, telling you a big fault in my life right now. Trying to listen better. Trying to think of others and not just myself. Trying to be a better friend to all, not just those that I think best suit me.

Update to last night's entry

Okay yesterday I was on top of the world after running. I felt incredible, strong, fast, healthy. This morning I felt like I SUCK at this. I ran 2.5 miles this morning and it took me longer than it took me last night to run 3! I felt awful. My legs were tired, my ankle and knee on the same leg were hurting. I had to walk the last half mile!

I have talked with this lady at the Y today for the second time and she is a RUNNER. You can tell when she runs that she is a RUNNER and you can tell by her body that she is a RUNNER. I think I want to be a RUNNER someday! Anyhow she asked me how my training was going and I told her about how awesome last night was and how awful this morning was. She mentioned a few things to me:
1. I didn't have a long recovery from last night's hard run until this morning.
2. My knee is probably hurting b/c it is not used to this running. I need to do weights to increase my strength. I had not been wanting to do weights b/c I was running and thought that was enough, but apparently I need more - today I did weights.
3. She said I should change up my workouts. Running on the treadmill is so hard and boring. I ran outside twice this week when it was nice, but I can't run in this cold. So, she suggested changing the tempo and incline to simulate the outside.
4. Need to work on speed work too on some days.

I think I have begun to obsess over the miles and getting them in that I haven't cared how I got them (treadmill or outside). I just wanted to finish as fast as I could and mark it off the training list.

Now I'm back to the internet to look at my workout plan and see where I should do weights, cross train, speed work, hills, etc.

Any seasoned runners feel free to pass on any advice you have! I love advice!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

running status

For the 5 people that read my blog I thought I would update you on my running status. As you may remember one of my New Year's Resolutions is to run a half marathon. I am hoping to do the Country Music Marathon in April.

So, last week I ran 14 miles (more than I ran the whole month of Jan!) and that brought my total since Jan 1st up to 40.80 miles. :) So far this week I've ran 10 and have three more to go before the end of the week. On Tuesday I ran 4 miles in 36:54, and today I ran 3 in 26:03.

For those of you that remember my complaining in January about how much I hated running and wondering if it would ever get better. Well, it is still SO hard, but it is getting better. I am enjoying my runs more often. Tonight I was only supposed to do 2, but was feeling good so I went one more.

Valentine's Day

I can not remember what Aaron and I did last year on Valentine's Day, nor the year before. I don't remember one specific gift that Aaron has given me on Valentine's day either. Besides the Valentine's Day that we got engaged on, nothing special comes to mind about Aaron when I think of Valentine's Day.

When I think of Valentine's Day I think of a specific person each year and I don't think this will ever change. Even after six years of marriage, Valentine's Day is always a day that I think of my dad. For as long as I remember my dad would always leave a gift for myself, my brother and my mom downstairs waiting for us for Valentine's. He would have probably already left for work, but there would always be something there for me. It would always include a card, and maybe a stuffed animal or chocolate, or a flower. He always did that. That made me feel so special and it is forever a memory that I will cherish.

As I grew older, the gifts didn't stop. After my first two years of college I moved home and lived there until I was married. One Valentine's Day I woke up went downstairs to find that there was NO gift from my dad. I called him and was a little upset and he said that he thought I was too old now and wouldn't care. I told him that I did care and LOVED that about Valentine's Day. I don't think you are ever too old for a special Valentine from your dad.

Although I am married to the man of my dreams, mother to two amazing boys, and live about 14 hours away I still look forward to that phone call on Valentine's and always think of this way that my daddy made me feel special growing up.

2-hours late

I was not aware of the schools opening late this morning and yes I was at school on time (well about 2 min late!) this morning and NO ONE else was there! UGH! Usually I check my email every morning before getting ready but I was running super late this morning and didn't check it. I wish that I had because at 5:10 am I received an email from the tv station with the school closings.

C cried when we drove by the school and didn't go. I couldn't explain to him the closing and honestly didn't understand it myself either. Beautiful blue skies, no snow, cold temps, but still it didn't make sense to me. I mean I'm not complaining but I just wish I would have known and could have slept in a bit, since I had to wake both boys this morning for school.

So, we got home about 10 min ago and will leave in about 10 min to head back to school since they are just opening late. Oh well.

This happened to me about 4 years ago when I was driving to school and had no idea a tornado had blown through the night before and no one was at school. The was a tree down in the parking lot though!

Lesson learned. Check email every morning - you never know what you'll get!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Date night

I love date night. I love getting ready for Aaron and wearing what makes him smile. I love coming down the stairs to find the kids going crazy and in the midst of that craziness stands my date, waiting for me. Everything can go wrong in a day, but if you know that later that night you will have your man, then it is all better.

Aaron and I work very hard on having "couple" time away from the kids. With two kids that are so young, it could be very easy to never leave the house and never be alone. Aaron is a fabulous date planner. He always makes every effort to make me feel very special and as if I'm the only person on the plane that matters.

Last night was date night for us. As we were leaving Cayden asked Aaron where we were going and he told him he was taking his mommy out on a date. Cayden just smiled and said, oh okay. It was super cute. I am proud of our marriage and proud of our life. We take each other very seriously and put each other above our kids. I think that you must do that in order to keep your marriage the way it needs to be. I don't want to get both my kids in college and look at Aaron and not have a clue about anything that interests him b/c I've been only interested in my boys lives.

So to my sweet husband, Thank you. Thank you for loving a girl that made SO many mistakes in her life before meeting you. Thanks for loving a girl that still makes so many mistakes. Thanks for loving a girl that brought so much baggage to the table. Thanks for loving ME the way you love me - with all you have!

I love you.

Monday, February 12, 2007


Today as I was running I didn't have my ipod so my brain was free to roam and quickly jump from one thought to the next. I was running a new route which was a jump for me. I usually stick to the Y or my neighborhood. Today I went to the local greenway and hit the pavement. It was a good experience for me. I have seen way too many Law & Order SVU shows and just knew that someone was going to jump out of the bushes and attack me and leave to die at any moment. I tell you my mind works in crazy ways.

So, to combat these fears, I started thinking about good things. I tried to pray about things going on in my life (and for the man that I knew was in the bushes waiting for me) and think about good things. My mind started thinking that if I do run this 1/2 marathon it will be a great accomplishment for me. You see, I have not registered yet and seem to be putting it off. I need to register to have one more way to be accountable to the workout. I have my workout schedule, it is on my ical, I have new shoe, but I have not registered. I will though. I will.

What are the BIG accomplishments in my life? I immediately thought of college. I was the first in my immediate family to graduate college and so that would be a big accomplishment for me. Our family adopted domestically and that seemed big to me. My marriage seems to be an accomplishment. WHEN I run this 1/2 marathon that will be a HUGE accomplishment for me.

I notice that all these have one thing in common. They took work on my part. To graduate college took me 6 years, and I only have a bachelor's! I wanted to quit so many times, but yet I stuck it out and finished. Adoption was the most emotionally draining thing I've ever been a part of in my life. My marriage takes work. We schedule time for each other, I have someone else's feelings to think about, and I can't be my selfish self all the time. Training this marathon is taking time out of my life. It is hard work. Most days I don't want to run, but I do anyways because I know the end is 10.5 weeks away and will be worth every mile I ran.

What are your big accomplishments in life? What obstacles have you overcome?

Philippians 4:13 "For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me hte strength and power." (TLB)

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Birthday party

Cayden (and Deacon too) went to his best girl friend's birthday party this weekend. Katie turned 3 and had a fabulous party at a dance studio. It was a Kindermusic party and both of my boys loved it so much! They loved the dancing and the Thomas cupcakes too!

Thanks Katie for a great time, and thanks for being a great friend!

Katie and Cayden have been in MDO in the same class for the past two years and they are such great friends! They are so excited when they see each other and are so cute together. Isn't it amazing how 3 year olds can have a best friend - they are innocent and pure and don't care what the other looks likes, or where they come from. Cayden and Katie are friends and that is so cool to me. I love that my 3 year old has a friend that he prayes for at night (Katie and Eli EVERY night) and looks forward to seeing.

David and Bathsheba

Recently I took the time to read the family tree of Jesus. Where did it all begin, and where did certain people fall into place in his lineage. I knew that David was in there, and Abraham, and even Ruth as well. What I then read was something that I had forgotten and am so thankful to have been reminded of this. Matthew 1 verse 6 reads this, “Jesse was the father of King David. David was the father of Solomon (his mother was the widow of Uriah). Do you remember who was the widow of Uriah? Yes, Bathsheba was his widow.

Back in the Old Testament in II Samuel chapter 11, we recall the story of David and Bathsheba. David made a huge mistake by asking Bathsheba to come and “visit” him one night while a war was going on. What follows is something that seems to be straight out of a Hollywood movie. Bathsheba gets knocked up with David’s baby, David brings Uriah back from war so he can sleep with his wife, but Uriah refuses because he doesn’t want to dishonor the men that are still fighting. David then proceeds to get Uriah drunk in hopes that he’ll head back to his house for some loving, and with no luck Uriah still doesn’t go home. Then in a feeling of complete desperation David sends Uriah back to war with a message for Joab that instructed him to place Uriah on the front lines and then retreat in hopes that he will be killed. What? It does sound like a modern day movie.

So, Uriah was killed and after Bathsheba was done with her mourning period David sent for her and she became one of his wives and she gave birth to a son.

David had created a mess for himself and if he is like me once you get in a mess it seems easier to stay in that mess than to get out. We will swim around in our mess forever with the fear of the cleaning process and how it will change us. Getting cleaned up from the mess is sometimes harder than staying in the mess. BUT the outcome is so much easier once we are out and cleaned up, forgiven of our sins and able to move on. I would rather go through the sometimes grueling clean up process and get out of the mess. God is good to clean us up and allow us many second chances.

Although David was forgiven, he still had consequences for his sin. That is life. His were harsh; God told him that murder should be a constant threat in your family. I will cause your household to rebel against you. I will give your wives to another man. WOW! But it gets worse. You see, his baby that was born out of this sin got very sick and died. David fasted and prayed and wept continuously for days asking God to grant life to his baby. He did not want his son to die, but in the end he did. His consequences were great for his sin.

My favorite thing about this story is that God is good and redemptive and can make good out of something very evil. Although David and Bathsheba’s relationship didn’t start out the way it should (adultery was the basis for their relationship) God allowed the line of Jesus to come from these two. WOW, did you see that. David and Bathsheba conceived another son and named him Solomon, and through him continued the lineage of Jesus.

I am so comforted by this story. My life is full of mistakes. Although I have been fully forgiven from all of them, they still carry consequences. God used something that didn’t start out good, and created something marvelous.

An example that pops into my head automatically is the adoption of our son. His birth mom wasn’t planning a baby, wasn’t ready for a baby, and didn’t want a baby. In the midst of her sin and despair good is revealed. Our son is revealed and through him God will do wonderful things.

Thank you God for forgiveness and for redemption. We praise you for your goodness and for your grand plan that we cannot even comprehend. You are truly the master of our lives and the giver of hope, love and peace.

John Piper on Adoption

I just listed to a great message by John Piper on the subject of adoption. Since we have added to our family through adoption I was even the more excited about this message. I hope that you enjoy this as much as I did.

John Piper's message

I found this message on the MY FIRST YEAR blog. Go visit her too.

Saturday, February 10, 2007


Real - –adjective
1. true; not merely ostensible, nominal, or apparent: the real reason for an act.
2. existing or occurring as fact; actual rather than imaginary, ideal, or fictitious: a story taken from real life.
(from dictionary.com)

The other day I was having a conversation with an adult, professional male and we were talking about my kids. He was wondering if we were going to have more and this is how he asked:

Mr. Ignorant: So, will you guys have more kids anytime soon?
Me: Yes probably in about two years we'll talk about it.
Mr. Ignorant: Will you have a real one or adopt one?
Me: (trying to figure out if he really did just say that) um .... probably ..... um ... a .... um ... we're thinking of another adoption and another biological.

What the hell?

I'm serious that question makes me so mad! People, think before you speak. Is my adopted son any less "real" than my biological child? Yes, I know what he meant, but that is not what he said, and YES I take offense to his stupidity!

Here's a hint:
ALL children are real

I didn't say anything, because I was so shocked and caught off guard, and because I'm a chicken. BUT if this happens when my kids are around and could understand what is being said - then YES I will have to speak up. I would NEVER EVER EVER want either one of them to hear someone talk about them this way.

United 93

I have never watched a movie that has made me as emotional as this one did. I just watched UNITED 93 and it was incredible. During the last 20 minutes I was bawling, thinking I was going to throw up and feeling as though I couldn't catch my breath. Throughout the whole movie my stomach was hurting, because I knew the ending. I knew how this movie would end and the moments that lead up to it are amazing. So many things happened leading up to this crash that I never knew about.

This movie is emotional, riveting, and moving. I highly recommend this to you. Sit down, reflect and remember these people that lost their lives on this plane. They were ordinary, normal people who just boarded a plane and ended up saving so many lives by taking over this plane. I would be a very proud family member of any of these passengers.

This movie was good for me to watch and to remember 9/11. As time goes by things can be forgotten if you were not directly afffected by it. I lost no one in 9/11. I knew no one that lost anyone. I don't live in NY. For that reason, 9/11 can be forgotten by me if I am not careful. I do not want to forget.

My friend

A conversation between a 3 year old and his mommy:

C: Mommy are you my friend?
M: Yes baby, I am your friend.
C: Will you be my friend forever?
M: Yes I will be your friend forever.

Friday, February 9, 2007

no bake cookies

I just made cookies! NO BAKE cookies!

They are great.

Check them out:

I got the recipe from Cinamon Dots Blog. She always has great stuff on there. I have said I was going to make several things off of there but this is my first.

Off to El Salvador

Some of our greatest friends, Matt & Rachel, are beginning their process of bringing home their baby from El Salvador. They are at the beginning of their race and I hope that their journey is peaceful and quick. I know that adoption is one of the most emotionally draining things I have EVER done, but it is also one of the most rewarding things as well. God revealed so many things to me throughout our process that I would not change a thing.

Anyhow, go visit their blog and give them a comment full of encouragement. Especially those of us that have adopted or are in the process. Love on them for a minute and allow your words to encourage them.

Here are some pics of us last year before they moved away from us. We love them and miss them. They are friends that even though you don't live close to and talk to often, they are deep, special, life long pals!

Love you guys!

Rachel holding Deacon and Me holding her daughter Ava. They just might marry someday!

The girls - Jamie, Maris & Rachel

The Ivey's and Setliffe's

Aaron & Matt

Books and Magazines

What are you reading these days?

I love to hear about people's books and what they are reading. Do you think what someone reads could tell you a lot about them? I do. Sometimes that wouldn't be good for me, but sometimes it is right on. For example, I am about 2/3 of the way through with my most recent book choice, SHEPHERDING A CHILD'S HEART by Tedd Tripp, and that would show you something about me - I am desiring to be a better parent. That is so true of me right now, and I want my children to respect me and I want to be able to discipline them into being a great child who desires to do good for God and not just me.

So, tell me what are you reading?

Also, what magazines do you subscribe to? I am bad about this and every year I have to not renew some b/c I'm always finding new ones to subscribe to! I LOVE magazines!

Here are mine:
Relevant (Aaron's)
Today's Christian Woman (thanks mom!)
Family Fun
Child (just got notice I'm on my last issue - I won't be renewing this one)
Rachael Ray (Aaron's)
Adoptive Families

I used to get:
Taste of Home
Cooking Light

I know - WAY TOO many magazines - Aaron tells me this all the time. I also have them around the house everywhere. I want to read them all, and then feel bad throwing them away so I make piles to save them to give to friends!

What magazines do you subscribe to? What do you love about them? What magazine do you wish you had?

Beth's blog

Hey girls. I found this blog through another friend of mine. This is Living Proof Ministries blog site and Beth and her daughter Amanda post on it.


Living Proof Ministry Blog Site

Spur in Omaha

A day in the Life of SPUR:

A Day in Omaha

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Visit Spur at www.spur58.com and their myspace too.

smoking pizza

Today as we were driving home today I asked Cayden what he wanted for lunch and of course he said pizza, which is what he always says. BUT this time, I said OKAY. So, we were off to Domino's to pick up pizza. As I was waiting there for our pizza to be ready, I noticed a driver leave to deliver pizza and as soon as he got in his car and loaded up his pizza to deliver he lit up a cigarette. In his car was the pizza to be delivered and him with all the windows rolled and he was smoking. This grossed me out. YUCK! I would hate to get a pizza delivered to me that had been in a car full of smoke.

Should you be able to request that the driver's not smoke when they deliver your pizza?. Is it wrong that I don't want my pizza delivered to me smelling like smoke?

Monday, February 5, 2007

Feb prayer for children

"That they would serve whole heartedly as is they were serving the Lord, not men, knowing that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does." Based on Ephesians 6:7,8

Our church sent us this card stating that for the month of Feb the Learning Center Leaders have commited to pray the following scripture for our kids by name.

I will too.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

Ebert & Roeper

Worst Movies of 2006:
10. How to Eat Fried Worms
9. Flyboys
8. The Guardian
7. The Shaggy Dog
6. Deck the Halls & Unaccompained Minors
5. Just My Luck
4. Fur
3. RV
2. The Hills have Eyes
1. Running with Scissors

The other critics list (I don't know which one is which - Ebert or Roeper!!!)
10. Basic Instinct 2
9. Failure to Launch
8. Click
7. My Super Ex-Girlfriend
6. The Hills Have Eyes
5. Doogal
4. London
3. Running with Scissors
2. The Da Vinci Code
1. Running with Scissors

Anyone seen any of these?
I saw RV and I agree.
I saw The Da Vinci Code and I agree. The book was fabulous!
I saw Click and I agree.

to be with Jesus...

I was talking with my mom on the phone today and she was telling me that when I was about 2.5 I would tell her and my dad all the time that I wanted to die. They would ask me why, and I would say so that I could go to heaven to be with Jesus.

This has got me thinking a lot about kids and what they think. I want to get into Cayden's mind, and see what he thinks. I want to be more diligent to ask him what he is thinking about.

Have any of you moms or dads heard any great things from your kids? What are they saying that we should listen to? I wish I could dream of Jesus as often as Cayden does!

Tony & Lovie

This morning at church I was made aware that both coaches in the big game today are Christians. What a great Super Bowl - two Christian head coaches, two black head coaches in the Super Bowl - this will be a great game with a great winner!

Visit this website to see more about these great coaches and their faith!


A first for the black community

From what I understand this is the first time in Super Bowl history that we have had two black head coaches in the Super Bowl. I am super excited about this today and also for the fact that we will have our first black head coach winner today too (from what I understand from the tv yesterday). I was watching some interviews on ESPN while at the Y running yesterday and they had numerous famous "stars" on there making comments on today's history making game. The one that stuck out to me the most was when Kobe Bryant stated that he looks forward to a day when we don't even discuss this because it isn't a big deal anymore. Won't that be a great day!

I will be watching the Super Bowl today with the Shingleton's and don't even have a favorite. I'll probably pick a favorite during one of the segments when they discuss some player's horrible childhood and how he turned it all around and is now playing in the Super Bowl. That is how I pick my teams!

Who are you rooting for?

Saturday, February 3, 2007

The shirts that don't make it on the field tomorrow night.

Ever wonder what happens to all the t-shirts and caps that are made up for the Super Bowl with the losers name on them? I read an article that explains it all.

I was proud to see that World Vision is involved in this as well.

Click here for the NY Times article on the losers gear and where it goes when they don't win the game.

Jesus .... reading the bible

One of my favorite things lately has been asking Cayden about his dreams when he wakes up from nap or in the morning. I have asked him this forever and he usually never answers me. Not sure if he understands what dreams are, but one day he will and I will look forward to hearing about each one.

Usually NO answer, but last week we got an answer. The funny thing is that since then everyday we get the same answer. It goes down about like this:

Mom: Hello sweet boy, did you have any dreams while you were sleeping?
Boy: (shakes head yes with thumb permanetly stuck in mouth for first 5 min after nap)
Mom: What was your dream about?
Boy: Jesus.
Mom: Jesus? Really, what was he doing.
Boy: Reading.
Mom: Reading? What was Jesus reading?
Boy: The bible.

End of conversation.

So, today after nap I walk into their room and am acting cheerful even though I just woke up from a dead sleep nap too, and without me asking our conversation unfolds like this:
Boy: Jesus.
Mom: What, baby?
Boy: I dream Jesus.
Mom: Really, what was Jesus doing?
Boy: On my pillow.
Mom: Jesus was on your pillow while you were sleeping?
Boy: (shake of the head with thumb stuck in it)

End of Conversation.

I LOVE the mind of a child. This morning when they woke up and I finally made it down there Cayden was rocking Elmo (at first I thought he was "nursing" but after a few questions he was in fact rocking and not nursing!) and singing to him. I loved it. Every once in a while I would hear a word that I could make out and he was singing "Jesus loves me". Oh it was absolutely precious!

These are the moments that I want to remember forever.

Friday, February 2, 2007


This morning we woke up to REALSNOW today! Yah and it is still on the ground. I took some pics of the kids in it before we left for the Y. Deacon wasn't too impressed, especially when he fell down!

I'm the worst mom too, b/c I could have taken Cayden back out there while Deacon was sleeping, but I didn't want him to get wet and we don't have a hat for him, and his mittens aren't very good. See, I am a bad mom.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

To stay home or to work outside the home?

I'm watching the Oprah from when Elizabeth Vargas was on there talking about her decision to step down from the evening news to spend more time with her family. It is a good show and has brought up many feelings within the audience about what is "best". The working moms say that they are good moms and can do it all. The stay-at-home moms say they are right and are being the "best" moms that their children need.

Here is the deal - what is best for your children. Some moms would go crazy and be crappy moms if they were home all day with their preschool children. Other moms are best at home with their kids, and others are best at the workforce.

The therapist on there says that you need to be in tune as to what is best for your family - your value system. She says some moms are home all day but are not in tune with their family - so what makes them better?

I will tell you this is a hard issue for me. There are many days that I wonder what it would be like if I had a "real" job. Sometimes I really miss those days of teaching and coaching. I know that I am making the right choice for our family now, and I LOVE being home with my kids, BUT I still think about those days of having a "real" job. Sometimes I wonder if I even do a good job of actively engaging my children while I am at home with them. Am I doing them justice by staying home with them, or would they be more stimulated at a child care center while I am fulfilled at a "real" job. Would I be a better mom if I felt as though I was doing something during the day besides changing diapers and fixing lunches and washing dishes. Could I be better for them? Or, would I miss all the AMAZING times that we have together during the day. When Cayden sings songs about loving mommy, daddy and deaky. Or when Deacon jumps in his bed when I come in there after nap.

When I think these things I feel an extreme amount of guilt. I have friends that would give their left arm to quit their job and be able to stay home. There is a part of me that doesn't want to work - to be able to have family time all the time is amazing. BUT there is a big part of me that wants to interact in the world and influence people.

How do you mom's feel about this? If you do stay home, do you ever wish you didn't? If you don't stay home do you ever wish you could stay home?

I hope that no one interprets this post as me not being happy, b/c I love my life and am so happy. But I think that I'm not the only one that has these thoughts.

Organizing toys

I feel as though I am ALWAYS organizing toys. Seriously how often does a toy find the perfect home only to never be seen there again! We have been trying to downsize on toys. We never want to look around and say how the heck did we get all these toys that the boys never play with. So, after each birthday and Christmas we always go through and pack up to give away. #1 this is teaching them to share and give to the needy (not that they understand now, but if it is a habit and practice in our family one day they will) and #2 it keeps their bedroom/play room from becoming over crowded with STUFF.

So, I went through last week and boxed up lots of toys and books to take to a shelter soon. I was still left with unorganized stuff. It seems as though once they get playing stuff is everywhere and then they don't know what to play with b/c toys are just all around them. So, I bought a few bins today and took off the bedskirt on Deacon's crib and the room is a different room now! We have storage under D's bed that the boys can access and things are put away when they aren't in use!

I even went around the room tonight with Cayden and told him where everything went. He followed along and even interacted with questions about where stuff went. I think he was really listening and taking it all in! One of our goals is to eliminate useless piles - like for instance I found pieces for Mr. Potatoe head and Elmo (potatoe head like thingy) all over the house in four different baskets. That drives me insane! The kids will dump all the baskets out and pieces are everywhere but they don't go to anything. Not now - there is a bin under D's bed with Mr. Potatoe head, Elmo-head and all their facial expressions! I love it! All of the LittlePeople stuff is in one big bin! Yeah!

What does the snow say?

Mommy, what does the snow say?

Cayden asked me that today and then he came up with an answer on his own and I just add to video it for you!

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos

You think you know me:

You think you know me?

Compliments of Rachel

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. English tutor
2. Preschool teacher
3. Bible teacher/basketball & vball coach
4. Kanakuk Kamp counselor

Movies I would watch over and over:
5. Steel Magnolias
6. Top Gun
7. Cars
8. Crash

Four places you have lived:
9. TN
10. Arlington, TX
11. Sugar Land, TX
12. Brownwood, TX

Four places you have been on vacation:
13. NYC, NY
14. Chicago, IL
15. Destin, FL
16. San Diego, CA

Four of my favorite foods are:
17.TOMATOE's - a new favorite!
18. Cheese sticks
19. Salmon
20. anything from Carabba's

Four places I would rather be right now:
21. Scotland
22. on a beach with lots of girlfriends
23. snow skiing with Aaron
24. a cabin in the mountains with Aaron and no kids and no agenda - just a new restaurant every day!

Four friends I think will respond:
25. Becca
26. Maris
27. Tamara
copy and paste on your own blog. delete my answers and insert your own. have fun!

on becoming african american

Here is a great article that I found on the Adoptive Families magazine's website.


On becoming African American

This article is written by a high school senior whom is black and grew up with a white mom and a dad.

SNOW day & new obsessions

When my alarm went off this morning I reached for the tv remote control to see if the schools were closed, and YES they are - we have a SNOW day! Which cracks me up b/c there was no snow on my yard, jut the driveway and my car - but I'll take it. So, we are cooped up all day and the kids are enjoying looking out the window at the snow! I have a video that I'll post later of them looking out the window. Cayden asked me what snow says ... don't worry he came up with an answer!

Since we had snow day we didn't do the normal daily waffles and fruit for breakfast and mommy made eggs!!! Yeah for snow day the kids are screaming!

So, today instead of work i will do laundry and straighten up the house. Cayden is playing very nicely in his room, while Deacon stands at the gate of their room and screams. He is getting quite clingy these days and I've held him all morning, but I must drink a cup of coffee in peace, check emails and start laundry.

Okay so the new obsessions - I have one and so does Deacon. Mine is tomatoes! Every day for the past couple I have had 1.5 tomatoes a day - I just cut them up and add salt and pepper and go to town! LOVE IT! If I get really adventourous I add them to the top of a cracker!

Deacon's new obsession is raisins. I have never given him any until yesterday and he was crying wanting what his brother had. He did well with them and I only gave him one at a time and watched him closely. He LOVES them and if he sees the box he goes crazy! What age did you first give your kids raisins? Am I way too early???

Enjoy your day! Thankful D has stopped crying .... back to the dishes and dirty clothes!