Saturday, June 30, 2007

They are both mine.

I think that many parents wonder if they will love a child that they did not birth. Will they look at this child and see that the child didn’t come from them? Will there always be something missing between them and their child? If adoptive parents have biological children will they then wonder if their bio child will have a bigger place in their heart than the child that they adopt.

I had these same questions about two years ago when we were waiting for our youngest son to join our family. At the time I didn’t know when or where he would come from. I didn’t even know if our child would be a girl or a boy, but I was falling in love with our child before we even laid eyes on him. I often wondered if I would feel differently about this child as opposed to the child I conceived with my husband and carried in my big fat belly for 9 months. I bonded with our oldest while he was in my belly. I felt him move and keep me up at night with his acrobatic dances. I pushed all 9 pounds and 11 ounces of him out of me. God created him to be born of me. I was in love from the minute the pregnancy test said positive. Would I ever be that in love with this next child?

These questions in my heart bothered me. I was ashamed that I was even entertaining these thoughts in my head. I was embarrassed to voice these thoughts for fear of how people might think of me. I prayed and prayed and prayed for this love to overcome me when I met my new baby. I prayed for my child to know me and to recognize my voice. I prayed for us to bond immediately and for the love that I had for our first child to be duplicated in a miraculous way for this child that I would not birth.

Throughout the 15 months of waiting for our baby I fell in love with him. I prayed for him and his birth family. I prayed for protection and health for our baby and his mom. I slowly and surely fell in love with a baby that I had never met. While we were at the hospital waiting for our baby to be born I remember the excitement that was going through my body. I could not wait to meet him for the first time. To see what he looks like. To feel his skin and to talk to him, I yearned to be with him. God was surely present that whole weekend and Aaron and I fell in love with our little boy the instant we laid eyes on him. It was as if we had known him all along.

When they held up our little baby boy I cried just the same as I had cried the first time I laid eyes on my oldest son after birthing him. I was in love. My love was real. My love was pure. This love was given to me by God to allow me to open my heart and soul to a child that I had nothing to do with in creating.

I guess I’ve been thinking about this lately because I talk to a lot of people who have biological children and have entertained the idea of adopting. They have felt the gentle tug at their heart by God and have been ignoring it for years. They are not sure if they could really love a child that they didn’t birth. I am here to tell you that YES you can. God’s love is big and God’s love sees no boundaries. That is how I love a child I didn’t birth. I love him the same as I love the child I birthed; I see no difference. There is no difference. They are both mine. They are both mine. They are both mine.

Friday, June 29, 2007

THINK OF ME

Struggle with $$$$$

If I am going to be completely honest on here I will tell you that I struggle with the want for more things. Bigger and Better things to be exact. Since I am being honest I can also say that I have come so far over the past few years in this struggle. God is growing me and stretching me so much but I have so far to go.

It seems as though whenever you venture out of your comfort zone and head to a poor country for a mission trip you must come back changed. It is impossible to not be changed. To look around and see people with so little and you with so much (material stuff that is) your heart is always moved to change your lifestyle. For some people that sticks and for others it lasts a few months and then they are right back to the desire for bigger and better.

I struggle with wanting a new diamond wedding band that we never got, I struggle with wanting a bigger and better house, I struggle with wanting more clothes, I struggle with wanting the diamond earrings I've always dreamed of, I struggle with wanting and wanting and wanting.

I also know that I don't need any of those things. I also know that I would rather feed starving children than have any of those things, but I live in America and "STUFF" is always right in front of your face.

This is something that God is always working on with me and I AM SO GRATEFUL for his work in me. I desire to be a giver. I desire one day to give away more money than I make. I desire to feed the hungry, clothe the clotheless and shelter the homeless. I have big dreams for this stuff and I know that God is constantly reminding me of how a Christ follower is to treat the "neighbors" around him or her.

We were with a pastor named Francis Chan this past week at Student Life. Go visit Aaron's blog to read what decision he recently made about building a new building for his church.

Aaron and I struggle with churches that spend MILLIONS on student buildings full of the latest and greatest video games and stuff. These kids have all this at home and we are just feeding them full of their desire for bigger and better. These poor kids expect this in their life. They expect stuff. I pray and hope that my kids NEVER expect stuff. We do hardly any Christmas gifts. Nothing extravagant. Do I want to b;uy my kids everything - YES. It is hard for me not to. But I can't. For them I can't. For me I can't. For the kids starving in Haiti I can not.

I am not saying that if you buy your kids everything they want you are bad parents. Do I think you should - NO WAY, but that is your business and not mine. I'm just expressing to you how God is working in our lives at our home.

Check out this video above called THINK OF ME and tell me what you think. I was convicted BIG time, especially since me myself has spent $16 at Starbucks this past week. That is not good. No need for you to yell at me, I'm already dealing with this in my own heart and mind.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

last day of vacation

Today my "vacation" is coming to an end. It is always bitter sweet to end the vacation. You are ready to get back to life, and yet not ready to leave the fun life you've been leading for a week. I'm looking forward to seeing my sweet boys again, and yet wishing Aaron was coming with me to see them too!

It has been a great week of lots of eating out (one of my TOP FAVORITE things to do), lots of couple time, and me by the pool reading a great book and soaking up the rays! That is my idea of a great week.

So, today around noon I head back to real life. Back to my boys, back to being a mommy and back to what I love doing.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

sleeping good.

Two nights down and one to go here with my hubby in Padre. I have had the BEST two nights of sleep that I have had in a long time. No baby monitor to listen to, no children within 10 feet of your bed, no sharing beds with children - NOPE just me and my hubby in a KING size bed. I LOVE it!

I love my kids more than anything, but nothing beats a week alone in a hotel room with no kids!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

THE BIG NEWS!

I have been going nuts all weekend about this news that I have been wanting to share with my blogging friends.

Some friends of ours that we have gotten to know through adoption and photography just brought home their new little baby girl today! They were called on Friday about her and today they met her and her birth mother and they brought home their little Norah this afternoon.

I am so excited for this couple because they have had a hard road this past year on their adoption journey. I have prayed for them and cried for them many times before God. He once again has been faithful and has joined them together with their baby that he knew would be theirs during all the trials that they have endured.

God's blessings are endless and I could not be happier for Brad and Alison!

On a side note if you need a good photographer she is great!!!

Stealth Racism in America

This morning as Aaron and I were relaxing in our sweet, hotel room we were flipping through the channels and landed on CNN and watched with our jaws dropped at a story that they were telling.

Apparently in a small LA town there is a problem with racism and six black men may spend 50 years in jail for a crime that normally gets you 3 days suspension. A few months earlier at their school nooses had been hung around a tree by white kids and these kids received a slap on the wrist.

Please go here to read the whole story.

I can not believe that this is 2007 in the United States of America and this CRAP (believe me I wanted to use another word for this subject matter, but I will keep it clean) still goes on. Seriously.

As the mother of a black child, I am astonished that this is something that our sweet, Little Boy could encounter in his lifetime. Oh how I desire to shield him and protect him from any of this absurd talk and behavior that some people find normal.

When we moved to TN we encountered more racism than we had when we lived in TX. It could be the move, or it could be the make up of our family. We have a trans-racial family and so we could be more aware of our surroundings then we were before.

A few years ago when the guys were traveling they took a high school boy from the church we then attended along with them to help out with product, sound and set up. While driving in the van this boy told them that he and his family were not racist, but that his dad would NOT allow a black boy to spend the night at his house. I wish that I could have seen the guys faces as this guy was convincing them that he did not have anything against other races. The guys "lovingly" told him that he indeed did have a distorted view of God's people. That he did value his white race more than the black race. That he justified this in his mind and that then gave less of a worth to someone that God also made in his own image.

This is middle TN in 2005 - WOW is all I can say. What an injustice this kids parents have done for him. What a screwed up view of God's love this kid has. This is not healthy. I pray and hope that this boy can break the cycle that his parents have passed down to him from his parents.

Listen LIve

Spur is in South Padre this week leading worship at a Student Life camp. They have a great set up where you can listen live to a certain location each night. Tonight you can hear SPUR from the comfort of your living room!

Go to Student Life Live and scroll down to June 26 and find SPUR at South Padre. Enjoy!

Monday, June 25, 2007

luggage is in BROWNSVILLE

So last I heard the luggage had arrived in Brownsville around 10:30 PM and will be delivered to our hotel in Padre sometime before 6 AM. We told them to call our room WHENEVER it arrives. We'll see how happy Aaron will be at 3 in the morning when he has to go down to the front desk!

LOST LUGGAGE

UGH! My luggage did NOT make it to Padre. It MIGHT make it here on the 7:55 PM flight. I used to wish that this would happen to me so I could buy new clothes .... I'm not liking it though. I feel lost without a bag!

At the airport

I am at the airport without any children for the first time in a really long time. I don’t remember the last time I flew by myself. I LOVE it! Usually about this time I’m trying to entertaining my children with books, popcorn, and just trying to keep the other passengers around me happy!

A random stranger just made my day at the airport. I sat down beside this cool, hip young lady and she smiled and asked me what store I was from. I was very confused and asked her what she was talking about. She said oh you must not work for the BUCKLE. Then I remembered that my friend Laura who is a manager for the Buckle is on her way to Nebraska this weekend for meetings, and it all clicked. She thought I was a BUCKLE manager headed to Nebraska for meetings. WHOA she made my day. That means that she thought I was dressing cool and hip! Funny thing is that everything I am wearing today except my shoes are from the BUCKLE!!!! I love this store and it helps that I have some great people there that help me find cool, hip clothes! I’m trying to stay away from the I’m-a-mom-of-two-little-kids look!!!

Once again it is apparent that I am kidless. When flying with kids it is impossible to wear cute wedge shoes, or nice shirts because I would not be able to chase kids around in these shoes and this shirt would have some sort of stain on it after flying with my kids.

I am so happy as I am about 2 hours away from being in the arms of my man with nothing to concern ourselves with except loving on each other, laughing our heads off at each other, having a blast with the Student Life staff and spending great nights of worshipping our God together.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Back to Trinity

I'm back in Trinity for the day. It is slow here and I need that sometimes. Slow days to do laundry, watch a movie, read a book, finish a magazine. Today is all laundry day for me and movie day for the kids. Right now they are enjoying some Pops time and I'm knee deep in laundry.

The kids and I drove from Giddings yesterday to Jordan and Kristen's house in Conroe for dinner with them, Paul (Kristen's dad) and my parents. It was fun and rowdy. The kids were a little wound up after being in the car for 3 hours. It won't be long until JOrdan and Kristen have little Porter running around crazy everywhere.;

Here's a funny kid story for you. Before we went over to their house we stopped at Old Navy to get Baby Porter a present. As I was checking things out and trying to decide on what to get Big Boy was talking about giving the gifts to the baby. I told him that he could give the baby one and his brother could give the baby one too. He thought for a moment and then said ... and Kristen can eat the presents to give them to the baby in her belly! It took me a minute to understand, but he was thinking logically how those presents were going to get to that baby in Kristen's belly! What a thinker we have on our hands!!!

Tonight after dinner the kids and I will drive to Pearland to spend the night with some of our favorite friends, Matt & Rachel and baby Ava. The kids are super excited to stay there. We have been with them the whole last week and so the kids are comfortable around them and love Baby Ava as everyone calls her!

A few weeks ago I thought I wasn't going to get to go to South Padre with Aaron and was kinda bummed about it. I mentioned to Rachel that I wasn't going to be able to go b/c the people that were watching our kids backed out and without even hesitating she volunteered to watch them while I am in Padre with my lover. How amazing of a friend is that! So, she'll have plenty of practice this week with having more than one baby! I pray that my kids are on their BEST behavior and don't miss their mommy too much while I'm gone. I think they'll love to "help" with baby Ava, and it sounds as though Rachel has fun things for them planned like the museum, pool, and water park (for kids of course!).

I have been looking forward to this week for a long time now. We'll be at Student Life Camp on the Beach. As I have said before SL puts on some of the BEST camps around and so it is always a relief to be somewhere that you know will take care of you and treat you well. Also SL Beach camps are a blast! I LOVE the beach, even if it is a TX beach, and I love being alone with my hubby with no kids. I don't think we have a trip planned this year for us with no kids, so this will be our trip for the year, even if Aaron is "working"!!! It is nice to get away with no kids - if you have kids and don't do this - YOU MUST start this year. It is a MUST for your marriage to be the best it can be. Men, plan a trip for your wives. Don't make them do it, you take the initiative and make them feel special! Aaron is fabulous at this and I love that about him so much.

Okay I have heard my children calling for me and should show them that I am still here! I hope and pray that your week is FABULOUS and I should have lots of good news to share with you this week! I can't wait!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Good news

I LOVE getting good news!

On Thursday I found out that my brother and his wife are having a BOY! I'm so happy and have dreams of our boys being best friend cousins for life! They will be 2 years and 4 years apart. FUN TIMES with all these boys are in our future, I just know it! They are thinking of naming him Porter and I LOVE that!

Yesterday I received some more good news and hopefullly will be able to share that with you next week! I love happy news and I love when people are caught off guard and blessed so much!


What is the best news you have received all week?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

photo booth kissing

Here's the photo I promised ......



Gosh I love this guy!

A great day ....

Today was a fabulous day with the man of my dreams. Tomorrow will be 6 years since we were married. Sometimes I can't believe that it has already been six years since we said "I do". Since we were married in the summer we usually always celebrate our anniversary at some camp. This year is no different for us. Today Bush & Maris watched our boys as we headed over to Austin for some great couple time. It is so much fun to go out with no kids. I forget how much fun it is until we are out and no one is crying and I am not picking up crayons off the restaurant floor for the millionth time, and I'm not trying to split a $5 kids meal that doesn't even have good food in it anyways.

We started our day at a great restaurant in Austin called Shady Grove. Fabulous food and fabulous chips and salsa. A place CAN NOT go wrong that has good chips and salsa for me. We then headed to the mall to cruise around and window shop, Starbucks for a great coffee, and then to guitar center to pick stuff up for the band. While we were at the mall we took our picture in one of those cheesy picture booths. So much fun! Whenever I get them scanned I'll share with you!

I must say I am 100% more in love with my husband today than I was 6 years ago. Our love has grown tremendously and him and I have both transformed into different people over the years. God has been so gracious to each of us by giving us each other and two fabulous boys. I can not wait for the next 6 years and so many more after that!

Baby - I LOVE YOU!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Father's Day

I know I'm a little late on this one, but I wanted to give a HUGE shout out to my dad and to my husband for Father's Day! I love you both dearly and you have both impacted my world and my kids worlds in ways too big to count.

Aaron is such a fabulous daddy to our boys. He loves them so much and misses them like crazy when we are away. He would do anything for them, and is constantly thinking of their well being. When he comes home from long trips he always has a gift for them and spends all his time devoted to them. He makes more castles than anyone would like to, and plays the best game of hide and seek!

My love for Aaron has grown tremendously since we started having kids. I love him in a new way. I love him because he loves our boys so much. I love him because he desires to be the best dad in the world.

This week when we first saw Aaron after not having him around for almost 2 weeks (I'm not counting the 15 hours he was home one weekend) the boys went crazy. They only wanted daddy. They wanted to sit by daddy at dinner. They want daddy to hold them. They want their daddy. I LOVE it and Aaron loves it even more.

For the longest time Aaron and I have been on two completely different pages about more children in our family. He has said since we brought Little Boy home that we were done and that our family was complete with our two boys. I have said NO WAY I am NOT complete as a mom and I need more kids! We kinda agreed to disagree and decided not to talk about it anymore. This week Aaron drops a BOMB on me and says that he thinks we need to start the adoption process again. WHAT? I was so happy and have not stopped thinking about it and smiling. So, we are going to hopefully start again sometime within the next year. We are not in a hurry and going to take our time, but I could not be happier. We are going to pray this summer about whether or not we feel as though God wants to lead us down the path to domestic again, or international this time. Who knows!

Camp Tejas

This week the boys and I have the privledge of being with Aaron for a full week of camp. This is so much fun and we are so thankful to Sagemont Church for allowing us to spend time with our daddy! We are gateful when a church considers the fact that if we aren't at camp we won't see our daddy for weeks. Thanks to Sagemont!

This week there seems to be prego women everywhere. Three friends from Sagemont are prego and I must say they all look so adorable as prego women. Whenever I see a cute prego woman I usually always think about having another baby. I start to wish that it was me prego anxiously awaiting the birth of a new baby. But then reality sets in and I remember it is not our time to birth another child, and I am happy with that.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

orphan epidemic

I found this site on a blog today (sorry I can't remember where so I can't site you) and was impressed with this article. It is from Children's Hope International following the Orphan Summit III which was held at Focus on the Family in Colorado Springs, Co this past May.

Go here to read all about this and how the church could help out if we would step up just a little.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Celiac disease



My mom has this disease and suffered tremendously until she was diagnosed. If you have any of these symptons seek your doctor about getting tested. It could change your life.

Proverbs

My friend Nancy sent me this verse this week. I love it.

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:3-6

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

disturbing stats

Today I was shown some very disturbing facts about orphans and adoption. Over at the Livesay's blog from Haiti she had this site listed and I am finding it very eye opening and also disturbing at the same time.

Please go and explore this site for lots of more information.

Here are a few of the points on there:
* 143 million children worldwide have lost one or both parents.
* Armed conflicts orphaned or seperated 1 million children from their families in the 1990's.
* 87.6 million orphans life in Asia
* 43.4 million orphans life in Sub-Saharan Africa.
* 12.4 million orphans live in Latin America and the Caribbean.
* Almost 1.5 million children live in public care in Central and Eastern Europe.
* More than 800,000 children pass through America's foster care system each year.

Here are some stats on Adoption and Waiting children in the U.S.
* Between 118,000 and 127,000 children have been adopted every year since 1987.
* MORE THAN 1/3 OF AMERICANS HAVE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERED ADOPTING, BUT NO MORE THAN 2% HAVE ACTUALLY ADOPTED.
* On average, children waiting for adoption have been in foster care for 43.8 months, almost FOUR YEARS.

These stats make my jaw drop to the ground. I pray and urge God to never let me get complacent with these figures. I know that something needs to be done.

Is it wrong of me to question why more people are not adopting orphans? Is it wrong to wonder why more Christians are not stepping up to the plate and bringing an orphan into their home to love and cherish for all of their life? Is it wrong of me to wonder how we Americans can stand it to sit in our nice houses and pretend to do nothing about these children that do not have parents?

I will tell you something. I can not sit here. I can not fathom not doing anything for them. I urge you to ask God and yourself what it is that you can do. Find an organization that supports people. Send them money. Find an organization that allows you to "adopt" a child and support them each month for about $40 a month. What is $40?

For me, I can not know that there are children that do not have parents and do nothing. One day we'll be adopting again.

we made it!

Well yesterday was a VERY LONG day for me and the boys. We pulled out of our driveway at 4:52 AM and arrived at my parents house around 6:30 PM! LONG DAY! The boys did great. They had their moments of course, but overall it was a great drive. The first two hours were the hardest for me because I was so tired and not happy about being up so early.

But we are here and happy to be here. The boys are loving seeing Nana and Pops and it will be a good relaxing week for me. One thing I love is that my parents have cable and so I end up watching way too much TLC and Discovery Health and all kinds of other stuff! It is good though, I don't ever get to do this!

Today we're going to the park and probably swimming after naps today.

Have a great one wherever you are this Tuesday!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

getting packed and random thoughts.....

Well I have to admit that this might be my best packing job yet. The boys have a suitcase each, I have a suitcase, a stroller, hang up clothes, a pack n play and a bag of toys. I am just down right getting good at this packing stuff. I have learned with each trip what is NOT necessary for a road trip. I used to bring it all, but not so much anymore! It helps that they are both getting older too - only one in diapers, no bottles, no formula, no baby food .... it gets easier with each year they get older!

In fact the car is almost completely packed and it is only 3 pm! I'm on a tight schedule around here. I want to be in bed tonight by 9 so that this road trip can get started between 4:30 and 5 in the morning! Wow that is early, but it makes a huge difference when you are traveling with little ones. The plan is that they will hopefully go back to sleep and then we'll be about 3 hours down the road when we have to stop for breakfast. The day is long b/c each stop is about an hour long. BUT they need it and frankly so do I since I'm doing it all by myself.

Tomorrow will be a LONG day for me - about 15 hours long, but it is worth it. I get to spend a week with my family and then two weeks with Aaron!!!

I have much on my mind these days that I'm hoping to get to blog about this week while I'm resting in Texas. I'm thinking tons about adoption, tons about orphans and even more about what am I to do about this. I have a friend that has adoption on the mind and I LOVE it. It reminds me of myself about 2 years ago when we were working on our adoption for Little Boy. It will be a pure joy to walk beside them when they do begin this journey. It could be soon, or it could be a year or two, but whenever it is I am happy to be here with them as they journey.

I also have relationships on my mind. Especially the relationship of marriage. We received three wedding invitations last week in the mail for weddings this summer. Two of them were students in the student ministry that Aaron served with. Wow that does make you feel old doesn't it! The other was for our dear and wonderful friends Jimmie and Laura. We are so happy for them and this journey that they are about to embark on. I love marriage and honestly Aaron and I have a great marriage. I am not bragging, but simply being honest. We love each other, respect each other, cherish each other, encourage each other, challenge each other and simply adore each other. It is a great journey for us. We will celebrate our 6th year of marriage in a few weeks. I could not be happier with my life!

Okay so this week I promise to bring you posts about adoption and marriage! Stay tuned ....

Friday, June 8, 2007

pictures from our week

We have had so much fun this week. Here is a picture of Aaron and the boys before he left on Sunday. They love their daddy so much and can't wait to see him tonight!


We spent Monday at the splash park and saw Kelly, Tamara and Shellie and their kids there. Big Boy had so much fun playing with all the kids! It is so funny because Little Boy likes the water and Big Boy barely got his feet wet the whole time we were there! They are so different! I had my camera that day but was too busy chasing kids in and out of the sprinklers to get any pics! Next time I will.

Then we spent Tuesday at the park with our friends, Blake, Logan, Carrie, Savanah, and Allison. Big Boy had so much fun! Here he is with two of his favorite buddies from school! How cute are these boys!!!



Big Boy has been dieing to wear these shoes all summer long. Aaron won't let him b/c they reallly don't look all that great with shorts but when daddy is away mommy makes the rules!!!! He loves these shoes and calls them his "silly black shoes"!!! I am really just posting this picture so that Aaron can see how I'm running things around here when he is gone!


My two favorite little boys in the whole world!


Here are two of my best girl friends. I love these girls for all that they mean to me in my life and I love them because they both love my boys so much. It is so great to have friends that love your kids. It makes you like your friend more!!!


On Wed we went swimming at our friend Emily's house. How cute is she!


As we all know Big Boy is not a fan of the water, but as you can see he was ready at any moment just in case he went in! He had a life jacket on (which I have now bought on of these in hopes that he'll get in more!), floaties and gogles. He was cracking me up. Finally another girl there got him in the water to kick his feet around. Otherwise he was just happy on the steps. Little Boy on the other hand would drown if you weren't sitting right next to him. He is not diving in or anything, but he'll step right off the step and get up and do it again! I love how different they are and it always cracks me up!




Today we met Becca and her boys, Jonah and Eli, at Chick-fil-A and the kids played and loved it so much. My boys love to play with J & E and it is always fun to catch up with Becca as well.

So, now the hubby will be home in about 3 hours and I have much to do. FIx my hair, put up laundry, make the bed, clean dishes, and vacum upstairs. I learned a while back that Aaron loves to come home to a clean house. Problem with that is that I hate to clean. So I usually walk around spraying Lysol and Pine Sol and he thinks I am the "perfect wife"!!!!

hair

Does anyone else only fix their hair when their hubby is in town? I'm the worst at this. Aaron's been gone since Sunday and I think that was the last day my hair wasn't in a pony tail! Today he is on his way home and so I must give this hair a good washing and blow dry to be the HOT wife he had when he left! Ha Ha!

So, today will be cleaning, picking up our mess and making myself presentable!

Thursday, June 7, 2007

3 years of static ....

We finally did it. For three long years we have endured the worst monitor that was ever invented. I guess when Big Boy was first born the monitor worked fine or else surely we would have bought a new one. But slowly over time it has become the worst sound in the world. At night you only know it is working if you can hear static. If it is not on high it does not work. This is so bad that we even have to put the monitor around the corner in our bathroom with the door shut b/c it is so loud when it is on.

Well last night it was going off and on throughout the night and driving me insane. One time I woke up in the middle of the night to the faint cries of Little Boy. I could not hear him through the monitor because it was apparently off but I could hear him barely through the house. I jumped up so quickly and ran down there not knowing how long he had been crying. I hate that feeling. The feeling that he needed me and I wasn't there to help him.

So, that was my final straw and I broke down and bought a monitor at Target today. I had always said when I bought a new one I would research and get the best one out there, but this was so spur of the moment that no research was done and I just picked the one that looked the best. I bought the one that has the longest range. Not sure why, but that seemed important to me as I was looking at them. I went middle of the line and bought the $19.99 one but when I checked out it rang up as $12.98 - YEAH a deal! Aaron will be so happy!

Tonight I will sleep much better!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

SPUR VIDEO

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

HOT friends

I must say that Jimmie and Laura look amazing in their pictures. They are getting married in July and I can't wait for them to experience marriage together. They will rock as a married couple. I love them both and love how much they both love my kids.

Go here to check out their amazing engagement photos. How hot are they???

cleaning schedule

Anyone else have a cleaning schedule? I have the hardest time sticking to mine. #1 reason I hate cleaning and #2 reason I hate cleaning!

So, here is my weekly cleaning schedule:
Monday - Dust upstairs, Bathroom upstairs
Tuesday - Vacum upstairs
Wed - Dust downstairs, mop kitchen/living room/breakfast area
Thur - Vacum downstairs, all trash out of house to curb
Fri - Bathroom downstairs
Sat - clean out fridge, organize desk & go through mail
Sun - sheets

Okay so there it is. I orginially made this b/c I was getting so frustrated with spending a whole day cleaning. I thought if I did a little each day I wouldn't get burned out. Well instead I get to Tuesday and say oh that's not too much I'll just do that tomorrow. Then a few more times that week I do that and before I know it I spend the whole day on Friday cleaning the whole house.

Any more tips for staying on top of housework? Sometimes I wish I worked outside the home just so we could have our house cleaned by someone else!!!

ETSY

Has anyone ever bought or sold anything on ETSY? I was just curious about it. I have been trying to buy something on there for a day and I'm not sure if I have figured it out or not. I did sign up and create an account, so now if I ever make anything I can sell it on the site!!! Me, crafty ... NO, but for some reason I desire to be crafty. In fact the other day I was begging Aaron to let me buy a sewing machine to make cute crafty things. He said NO because he thinks I'll start making my own clothes and end up in a Moo-Moo, like old ladies wear around the house all day long!!!!

So, I'd love to hear about your experience with ETSY. If you haven't been, go look around and you can find some very cute things!

Oprah and my thoughts

I've been catching up on my Oprah's from when I was not home last week. There have been some great shows and last night was a great catch up night for me. There was the show about people's body image and that was very enlightening to me. They talked about how sometimes your insecurities can come from within your own family or "group". There were some black adults and teenagers on the show who talked about their insecurity with how dark their skin is and how it is looked down upon to be really dark. There was an Asian girl on the show who grew up very insecure about not having creases in her eyes. Weird to me, but a very real reality to her. This show made me think about the little things that families kid each other about all in fun. Do these sometimes lead to real insecurities? Can joking leave scars on the inside. I heard a saying one time that said ... Sarcasm leads to SCARcasm. Kinda cheesy, but I think we apply it to our lives and make sure our sarcasm isn't scaring someone for the sake of a joke. There is a running joke in my family about my dad, my brother and I having big noses. YES we do have the same nose and it could be considered on the bigger side, but I will say that I am pretty self conscience of my nose and notice it in every picture. Could the joking have gone too far? Is my brother also self conscience of his nose? My dad? Just something to think about next time you "joke" with someone about something.

The next Oprah was about the crisis of young black men not excelling in school and the percentage of them that will end up incarcerated was very alarming. Something has to happen to intervene for these boys. Their life has to take a turn. Hill Harper (I think that was his name), from CSI:NY was on there and has written a book about helping these young men grow into great young men that value education and have dreams for themselves. I loved this episode and it was a little wake up call for me. I ordered the book and hope to learn lots from it.

The last Oprah was the kicker for me. I was moved to tears throughout the entire show. I saw my family in the show in more ways than one. This family was traveling home from a wedding in a limo and was hit head on by a drunk driver going the wrong way on the road while driving 70 miles per hour. The limo driver was killed instantly, the grandparents in the back were thrown forward on top of the other family members, the husband broke his back, the wife had minor injuries, one daughter lived and the other daughter was decapitated. Her mother literally stood on the side of the road and watched them pull out her family while she held her daughters head in her arms. Their life will NEVER be the same because of the choice of one man to drive even though his blood alcohol level was 3 times the legal limit. He lived and is serving 18 years in prison.

I saw my family here because this could happen to anyone. This family did nothing to bring this on. They were merely driving home from a joyous occasion and their life was changed forever. Their daughter will never be back. The fear of something happening to my boys causes my emotions to loose it and fear to run through my body.

The second way I saw myself in this story was as the drunk driver. No, I don't drink and drive now, but I have many times in the past. In my last two years of high school and first three years of college I lived a very promiscuous and dangerous lifestyle. I participated in lots of drinking and too many times to count drove myself and others all around town while I was intoxicated. I am very embarrassed to admit this and also very thankful that nothing like this ever happened while I was driving drunk. Why didn't I ever wreck? I will never know, but I do know that anyone that drives drunk is capable of doing something like this.

So, there is my Oprah recap for the weekend! I love when her show can expose problems that I feel I need to be aware of, and also to help me see things in my own life that can be changed or can used to help someone else.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

just one reason

Today my amazingly, wonderful hubby went to the store to pick up a new air filter thing for our house and came home with that and 3 bunches of beautiful flowers for me. I love that about him, because he does this about once a month and I love it. He always tells Big Boy that he got flowers for mommy because he loves her so much. Isn't he instilling great patterns into his boys.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

pictures from Chatt

Here are some pictures from the past week at camp.
Here are the kids and the sitters ....

One of the main reasons I go each year to Covenant is to see my sweet friend Callie. I love this girl. She is amazing and loves people and loves God and does a phenominal job for Student Life.


This is what we looked at each time we stepped out of our room. Isn't this lovely. If you can ever go and visit Lookout Mountain outside of Chattanooga it is very much worth it.


Here is Big Boy and his most favorite friend from the week! Now that we are home he is still asking if he is going to see his buddy today!

We went to the Aquarium with the Nolan's and had a blast. Here we were petting sting ray's and if we would not have been holding Little Boy he would have gone in with them. He is a maniac!


Our family in the butterfly exhibit.


Here we are with Big Boy at aquarium ....


Don't worry we didn't leave out Little Boy, he just did this through most of the exhibit!

The penquins were my favorite. Little Boy was so cute b/c he would kiss the glass every time one would swim by!

This is Sarah, the high school girl we took with us for the week to help out.


Checking out the fish!

How cute is this! Can't you just see a little NBA basketball player in the making!!!

new book

I just started a new book this past week. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers. Anyone read it? I tried to start this last year and could not get into. Once again I'm having a hard time getting sucked in but I'm determined to read it this summer.

devo drama

As I told you guys last week I just recently started a new devotional book. I love it and it is just what I have been needing right now. It gets you reading the word each day and then a few questions, a word from Beth about it, and then a prayer from the word and a space to journal. This is much needed for me and quite easy to get into and stay into.

If I love this so much, why did I only get three days done in a week's time? Why is it harder to sit still and spend time with God when you are at camp? Why was I always going? Why did I never stop to rest? I have enjoyed today with my devotions. I was sitting on our patio with coffee in hand and the boys playing while I read about Hannah and her sweet precious gift from God. What a story. I highly encourage you to read the first chapter of I Samuel in the Old Testament. It makes you think about what you do in the midst of your bitterness. Do you sulk in your bitterness, or do you weep and pray to God during that time. I will not tell you what I do most of the time, but you can probably guess since this was so convicting today.

I love how God knew her heart. He knew that she wasn't just promising to give Samuel back so that she could have him in the first place. Her promise was sincere. God knew that. God blessed her with the desires of her heart.

On a different note to all the mom's out there. Don't you just love it when you are right in the middle of reading a great word in the bible and you have to stop to break up a fight and put kids in time out. Man has my time with God changed over the past three years. :) Most of the time it is sweet and calm, but every once in a while my time is interupted with drama from my boys!