Everything Changes ....

Everything changes when you have kids. When tragedy strikes my mind goes directly to my kids. All of the people that were killed today in Virginia are someone's kids. They have parents that are grieving tonight in a way that I pray I never have to experience.

As I was sitting in the boys room tonight getting them ready for bed we were listening to a SPUR cd and the song "wonderful cross" was going and tears started streaming down my face. I was not understanding while God allows all these BAD things to happen in this world. How can 32 people go about their normal day, not knowing that it was their last day on this earth, and have tragedy come upon their lives in their normal Monday morning. Crazy! Then my mind started thinking about the song that was playing in the room. The wonderful cross - The wonderful cross! Thank you Jesus for the hope that you have given us. The hope that this world is not our end. The confidence that you are still in charge when it seems as though no one is in charge. The strength to go on tomorrow even when we have a day like this.

Jesus, I ask that you comfort these families and loved ones tonight.

Big Boy reading bible!

I just had to get Big Boy on camera tonight as he was "reading" his daddy's bible. How cute is this! Notice how about 30 seconds into he says "that's cool". I love it! I love that he talks about Jesus and knows that his parents talk about Jesus. Also notice the gymnastics move by Little Boy half way through!

Have a great week!


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Lent and Ash Wed

I have noticed lately that most of my thoughts that don't involve kids, meals, diapers, bath time, or bed time occur to me during my workouts. This is the first time I've worked out this much since high school. It is hard and most days I dread it, but there is something about being out on the road alone with your thoughts. You can concentrate more and can think things all the way through without any interruptions. For this, I am loving running on the road. At the Y, I plug my head phones into the TV and watch TV, but out on the road it's me, my ipod and my thoughts. LOVE IT!

Today my ipod shuffled from Bon Jovi, Coldplay, Charlie Hall, Faith Hill, John Mayer, Will Smith, Matt Redman, Something Corporate and Spur58. I think that Aaron could have bought me the shuffle since that is what I do, just shuffle from song to song. It keeps things fresh and I never know what is coming up. I can go from "Blessed be your name" to "Getting Jiggy with it" and love it. I only keep one ear plugged with the music so I can hear if the big bad wolf is coming to get me and because my mom said it's not good to workout with your headphones in b/c of blood flow to your ear and your heart .... not sure about that one, but if you can confirm that let me know!

Okay, back to the point of this post ....

As I was running today my mind wondered back to a subject that it has wondered to quite frequently since I read a book last summer called Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is looking for an easy read and a great encouragement. This is Lauren's memoir and it takes you down her journey from Orthodox Judaism to Christianity. I loved it.

What it brought my mind to again was lent and ash Wednesday. I am a little embarrassed to admit that I am not sure where ash Wednesday or lent originated, or even what it means. Does this make me a bad Christan? I am willing to take the label of bad Christian and ask my questions. Why do people put the ashes on their forehead? What does it represent? Why do they give stuff up for lent? Did I miss this somewhere along my 28 years of church? Is it because I grew up Southern Baptist that I don't know much about either one of these? I am going to research this more and find out where it started, what it means, and what it means for me.

If you have all these answers, I would love to hear them. BUT please don't make me feel stupid if you feel a though I should know this as a believer. I want to know.

Little boy is sick

No church for us today. I LOVE our new church and hate to miss (isn't that a cool feeling!), but today the little one is under the weather. He started with fever last night and today still has fever. He is now napping and I haven't heard a peep out of him. I think he just feels poopy today.


I do hate when my kids are sick. It is so sad. It is funny how I am realizing that they each handle things differently. For example, when big boy is sick he seems to just act "bad" and usually gets in trouble all day long until I finally realize that he is sick and is acting that way because he doesn't feel well. Little boy is whiny and wants to be held. I don't mind that at all and cherish holding my boys when they truly need me! It makes me feel special that they just want to be with me.


Isn't it funny how people in life can deal with things so different and be going through the same thing. For me I just want to be held. When things aren't going as they should I need someone that loves me so much to just be with me and hold me. I am not a retreat kind of person, I am a take-care-of-me kind of person when things aren't going as they should.


Just like little boy wants me to hold him today and I was more than willing to do this for him while he wasn't feeling well is exactly how our heavenly Father is. He desires to hold us and guide us always when we are in need. We have to be willing to let him do this for us. Don't retreat when things aren't going as they should, crawl up into your Heavenly Father's arms and allow him to comfort you for as long as you need it. He desires to do this, just as I desire to do this for my boys.


On a seperate note, God has graciously allowed me to sleep until 8 AM two days in a row. My boys have slept later than usual and I have been able to sleep later than usual as well. I have been so tired this week and the extra hour has done me VERY well. Thanks God for giving me just what I needed! Now with all my extra energy I'm off to clean some yucky bathrooms! Big Boy is potty training and pp always seems to drip all the way down the side of the toilet .... that is a whole other post though ..... off to clean!

to be with Jesus...

I was talking with my mom on the phone today and she was telling me that when I was about 2.5 I would tell her and my dad all the time that I wanted to die. They would ask me why, and I would say so that I could go to heaven to be with Jesus.

This has got me thinking a lot about kids and what they think. I want to get into Cayden's mind, and see what he thinks. I want to be more diligent to ask him what he is thinking about.

Have any of you moms or dads heard any great things from your kids? What are they saying that we should listen to? I wish I could dream of Jesus as often as Cayden does!

Jesus .... reading the bible

One of my favorite things lately has been asking Cayden about his dreams when he wakes up from nap or in the morning. I have asked him this forever and he usually never answers me. Not sure if he understands what dreams are, but one day he will and I will look forward to hearing about each one.

Usually NO answer, but last week we got an answer. The funny thing is that since then everyday we get the same answer. It goes down about like this:

Mom: Hello sweet boy, did you have any dreams while you were sleeping?
Boy: (shakes head yes with thumb permanetly stuck in mouth for first 5 min after nap)
Mom: What was your dream about?
Boy: Jesus.
Mom: Jesus? Really, what was he doing.
Boy: Reading.
Mom: Reading? What was Jesus reading?
Boy: The bible.

End of conversation.

So, today after nap I walk into their room and am acting cheerful even though I just woke up from a dead sleep nap too, and without me asking our conversation unfolds like this:
Boy: Jesus.
Mom: What, baby?
Boy: I dream Jesus.
Mom: Really, what was Jesus doing?
Boy: On my pillow.
Mom: Jesus was on your pillow while you were sleeping?
Boy: (shake of the head with thumb stuck in it)

End of Conversation.

I LOVE the mind of a child. This morning when they woke up and I finally made it down there Cayden was rocking Elmo (at first I thought he was "nursing" but after a few questions he was in fact rocking and not nursing!) and singing to him. I loved it. Every once in a while I would hear a word that I could make out and he was singing "Jesus loves me". Oh it was absolutely precious!

These are the moments that I want to remember forever.