Thursday, January 25, 2007

BLAH

Ever have one of those blah days where you just kinda "make it" through the day and not real sure if anything is good or bad, but just blah? Well today is that for me. Actually it started about 5 this afternoon. My day before that was great. School was good, PE was good and then SONIC was really good for me on the way home. :) I think I get this way when I'm about to start my period, which is way too much information for most of you, but heck it's true. I had cheese sticks from Sonic the other day. I hadn't had them in about 2 months, and seriously they are a strong hold for me. You think I'm kidding? I am not! They seriously do pull at me from the street. I know, I am psycho but it is true. I ate them every day when I was prego - maybe that is where the FIFTY pounds came from.

So today when the BLAH mood started coming on I thought I would feel better with something from Sonic. So, I went for the chili cheese Frito wrap - OH my gosh - SO GOOD. I topped it off with a banana-strawberry smoothie. In my mind I was evening out the playing field - something SO BAD for you it should be illegal, and something somewhat good for you! You like how this mind works!!

Well the kids were SUPER cranky tonight. Not long naps today for either of them so dinner for them was served about 4:50!!! I wasn't hungry since the chili-cheese-frito-wrap was just settling into my digestive track!

The kids were in bed and out asleep by 7:12! Yippe for me - I can get so much done - WRONG! The blah mood is even more in effect tonight. The only time I have gotten off the couch since they went to bed was to make me a bowl of soup and a glass of wine. I look around and so much needs to be done, but I have no desire to do it. Does this make me lazy and apathetic or just a tired mommy?

I have so many random thoughts running through my head:

what if someone took my boys? - this has been constant in my mind since the two boys were found in Missouri

do i live a generous life?

how can i make more money?

am i doing all i can to be a good mom?

why don't we have life insurance?

do i read to my kids enough?

where does elisabeth from the view get her clothes?

how is the lady in Haiti that was burned badly this week feeling?

how do i feel about George W Bush?

why do i feel so removed from politics?

what color should we paint our bathrooms?

what is aaron doing right now?

will i make it through the whole spin class tomorrow?

will jimmie and laura stay together?

maybe maris and i will have a baby at the same time.

where can i donate clothes, toys and books?

what can aaron and i do for a fun day on Monday?

when will jordan and kristen get blessed with a baby?

when will we have another baby, either through adoption or birth?

will i ever meet the livesay family that i love to read about in haiti?

will my desk ever be organized?

can i actually complete a 1/2 marathon?

why don't i pray more?

why aren't i more specific in my prayers?

do i give up on tasks to easily?

do i value things or people more?

how can i prove that?

will i ever be good at disciplining my children?

will Deacon ever hate us for adopting him?

how do i reign in Cayden's strong will?

Why does Tracy make homeschooling look so intriguqing?

When will Rach and Matt know about AW?

How is Mrs. Murbach feeling right now?


Seriously at one time or another today these have all gone through my mind. I feel BLAH and don't want to get off this couch until I finish THE OFFICE and GREY'S ANATOMY and maybe an OPRAH or two. Is something wrong with me?

8 comments:

jtcosby said...

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you, you are totally normal. You are a working mom of two very healthy boys. The boys alone is stressful, they are ALWAYS busy (at least if they are anything like my boys). Second...you are a brilliant woman. I love the rambling thoughts you have. I have never tracked my thoughts like that and I do believe it makes for interesting reading and thinking...just think, you can go back and ponder those things and figure some of them out. Then if you figure them out, PASS THE INFORMATION ON!!! I think you are wonderful!

ernest & debra said...

I have had so many days like you are having today. A lot of the same things run through my mind daily. I guess it is pretty normal. Let yourself rest and don't beat yourself up about it. Life Insurance and Elisabeth Hasselbeck are often on my mind. I know it is so random...

Debra

Alison Bynum said...

thank you for posting this! i absolutely am right there with you - i have had some blah time this week too. hope you enjoyed betty & mcdreamy.

annie said...

reading this post made me feel so much better about all the things that go through my head on a daily basis, and even when so many of them attack me at once. i would say, go through and figure out which ones are not helpful, and are the enemy trying to make you feel guilty or bad, and just hit him with the truth.... the others?... well, tomorrow's another day. :)

the kirkseys said...

Thank you for being so stinking REAL! I don't just have blah days, sometimes I have a whole blah WEEK : ) You are definitely not alone. I have a million questions going through my head at any given moment (even in the middle of the night). I think it's good to verbalize them and visualize them in writing. I also think about a lot of the same things (substitute "Kenny" for "Aaron", etc.) : ) I think you're a GREAT mom, friend, sister, wife, human being and the fact that you even think about a lot of these things proves how much you truly care about them!

The Setliffe Family said...

I agree with all of these other ladies--sometimes the "blahs" take over my life. I can answer 2 of your questions, so hopefully that will free up your mind a little :)

We finally got in touch with AW. They said that the sent Matt's doctor's note to El Salvador & they still haven't heard back. They were going to try to contact the government & see what was going on, and get back to us as soon as they know something.

My Mom is on her way home right now!!! Yeah!! She is still not doing as well as they had hoped & has had a lot of complications, but they finally thought she was strong enough to go home. Emmy is coming today, so we'll all be around her to help.

Thanks for loving me & my family so much--it shows that you are such a true & faithful friend to me. Love you!!

ginger said...

wow. i wrote a post yesterday very similar to this... just rambling thoughts and stuff i wonder about... but i didn't post it. maybe i'll go back and do it now.

you're amazing. the life that you and your family live ministers to so many--it's okay to take time and chill.

oh, and i think the blahs are a TOTAL girl thing. it just happens. no one understands it like another girl! :)

Kelly said...

I love the cheese sticks too! Sonic is my addiction. I love the diet coke with cherry. Good thoughts!