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Adoption photography

I wanted to let you all know about an organization that I found through another blog that offers free photography to new adoptive families that have been home for a year or less with their new child. What an awesome opportunity to get some great photos done. They are not cheesy photos either because I checked them out and they look great.

Go to Celebrating Adoption to check it out.

your old stuff

My tv in my bedroom was bought the summer before I went off to college eleven years ago. My alarm clock next to my bed that is missing the big button on top was bought my freshman year in college eleven years ago. A blanket that is in my living room was bought my sophmore year in college. Just a year ago I threw away some clothes that I had worn since high school. Sometimes I like to think of myself as thrifty, and other times just cheap! I think they are both good ways to explain the tv upstairs that is so big it hardly even fits on the stand, and starting to loose some parts of the color throughout the screen. I guess as much as I would love a new tv, I can't see myself buying one when the two we have work just fine.

My ring holder in my bathroom has been mine since the 5th grade. My boyfriend, Scott Harrison, with whom I shared the same birthday, gave it to me for Valentine's Day.

I think old stuff is good. It keeps you thankful for what you have. Even though I admit to sometimes secretly praying for a tv to go out so we can get a new, bigger and better one, I am thanfull that we have two tv's that work.

What in your house is old and outdated but still works just fine so you can't bear to see yourself buy a new one.

time to brag

I must take just a second of your time to brag on my most incredible husband. He truly is an amazing man to me. He loves me dearly and is always finding ways to take care of me and shower me with his love.

This past weekend when he was home he spent 3 hours one day cooking two amazing meals from scratch for our family. He made a Shepherds' Pie that would put anyone in Ireland to shame! Everything from scratch and most of the veggies from our local Farmer's Market. That same day he roasted some tomatos in the oven for hours and then made some amazing homemade tomato soup that I have enjoyed again twice this week since he has been gone.

Aaron loves to cook. I hate to cook. We make a great team!

new friends

Yesterday I made two new friends just by the t shirt that I had on. They both approched me because of the shirt I had on from a race I ran this year.

I wonder how else I could make friends from t shirts. What could a shirt say that would bring on new friends?

Blankets

I ordered some blankets from AUNTIE EM'S CREATIONS and I must say that they are so much more beautiful in person than on the website.

If you are looking for a baby gift and would love to help someone with an international adoption at the same time, then this blanket is for you! Go check out the site and order a blanket or two!

Birthday party fun

Yesterday we went to our friend Jada's birthday party. The boys had a blast playing with their friends at the park and riding bikes all around the place.

Mom vs. Birth Mom

Recently while visiting with a new adoptive mom friend I noticed that she always referred to her new baby girl's birth mom as mom. I kept noticing this and wondered how she did it. How did she say the words that are so hard for me to say?

You see, I always refer to our son’s first mom as either birth mom, first mom or by her name. I found myself asking why is it that it bothers me when someone refers to his birth mom as mom. When someone asks us if we have a relationship with his mom, it bothers me. I know whom they mean and I know what they are asking, but I want to scream YES WE KNOW HIS MOM; I AM HIS MOM. You see they are only wondering if we have an open adoption or closed. They are merely curious and I love curiosity about adoption. I love to talk about adoption and I love to educate and disprove some of the myths people have about adoption. So then why is this so hard for me?

I am a huge birth parent advocate. I believe the most ideal place for a child is with his/her birth family. When that isn't the best situation, then that is when I think adoption should come in to play. I wish that there were more options available for parents who are struggling to raise their children. I think that a birth parent that changes their mind to parent their baby has every right to do that. They are the parents before anyone else is. I am a huge advocate of open adoptions and feel as though closed adoptions are not beneficial to anyone in the adoption triad.

I love our birth mom. I respect her and cherish her and we do have an open relationship with her. I value her more than she will ever know. She loved our son before we even began loving him. She cared for him before us. She chose to give him life and she chose us to parent him. Her reasons for placing him are her own reasons and not mine to broadcast here. She will always be a part of our lives and we have pictures of her in the boy’s room. We also talk about her and tell Little Boy about her whenever we look at the pictures.

I usually atribute my dislike of this to not wanting to confuse my boys. I never want them to be confused as to who their "real" mom is. Does this make sense, or am I just using them as a crutch to my own fear?

So, am I insecure in the thought of someone referring to her as mom too? Do I fear that I will be valued less if he hast two moms? I don’t know why this is so hard for me. When we first adopted him I would rage (not to the person, but just in my head) if someone said mom instead of birth mom. Now it doesn’t bother me, but I just can’t bring myself to say it. Is that okay?

So, any other adoptive moms out there where do you stand on this? Am I wrong? Am I insecure? Do I need to just get a grip and get over it? I can take it, tell me the truth. Is this dumb? I promise it is really not a big issue, I just need to know if I am alone on this one, or if any of you other moms deal with this.

Milestones

Every mom that has children older than me says the same thing. They tell me to cherish these moments because before you know it they are driving away to college at 18 years old, and you are wondering where your baby went. Honestly that seems ages away, but deep down I know that they are right. The reason I'm starting to realize that is because although my oldest is only 3 years old I am starting to forget things about him when he was little. Yesterday I went to visit Alison and hold baby Norah and honestly it seemed ages since my Little Boy was that little and he is only a year and a half. Time does fly by so quickly.

Yesterday three monumental things happened at our house. Three things that mean my kids are growing up. Three things that caused me to reflect on the time I have had them. Have I done a good job parenting them in their three years and one year of life. Do they know they are loved? Do they know that they are safe? Do they know they have boundaries? Do they know that family is very important to us? Do they love each other? These are things that we desire as parents to instill in our kids when they are young. God helps us to do a good job at this!

The first thing that happened was that my little baby boy got his first hair cut. Oh my goodness! We had trimmed his hair once but we obviously had no idea what the heck we were doing. If you have known us since Little Boy was born you know that he once looked like Mr. T with his crazy hair. He only had hair on the top and none on the sides and the hair that was on top was bushy so we refered to him very nicely as Mr. T!

That is Little Boy last summer. NOw from there we never cut his hair and it just got bigger and bigger. Here is a picture of him this past month so you can see what I'm talking about.

So, yesterday Aaron was being a very nice daddy and decided to take Little Boy to get his hair cut so that I didn't have to worry about it next week by myself. So sweet, but in the process he forgot to realize how important a camera is at a little boys' first haircut! So, I have no pictures to show of him getting his actual hair cut because I was not there. Oh well. We'll get the next one. Aaron took him to a black barber shop and they were wonderful. They jokingly told Aaron that we should be ashamed for letting him look this way!!! Aaron said they were great and lots of fun. He also said that Little Boy did fabulous and was such a good boy. Here is his new look:

Doesn't he look like a new boy. All grown up! All day long I would nearly tear up when I looked at him. He doesn't look like my little baby anymore. I love the new do but it is taking me getting used to my little baby not looking like a little baby anymore. I still think he might be the cutest 1 year old around!

Of course Big Boy had to get in on the action as well. He was begging to get his hair cut like Caliou all day long. Why Caliou I'm not so sure, but we nixed that one real quick like since I think Calious is bald! (If you have no clue who Calious is then you don't have a preschool child and don't have PBS) So after his nap we proceded to go to the local hair salon and get his FIRST official hair cut at the age of 3!!! Before then we have done all his trims. The last cut was by me and it was the worst thing we have ever seen. Although it was so bad we let him walk around like this for over a month. What kind of parents are we?

He did a great job with his hair cut. A few months ago I cut his hair because we were having to wear it in a ponytail outside because he was so hot.

So I cut it and it was awful. Well yesterday we went to get him all fixed up with a big boy hair cut and it looks great.
Here is before:

Here is being silly with daddy while we wait for our turn:

Here is during:

And here is our big boy after his first "official" hair cut!


The next monumental thing randomly happened on a quick trip to target for ant killer and birthday present for our friend Jada. Aaron is dieing to have a bike right now. He is always looking and usually gets discourgaed because the ones he wants are always around $500! Well last night while checking out the bikes we found a bike for Big Boy that was only $10.51 - can you believe that?! We just knew that something was wrong with it and it would fall apart when he sat on it. Nope, nothing. Just on clearance. Wow! I know what you are thinking right now. You are asking and wondering why this almost 3 and a half year old doesn't already have a bike. Well, we are a little behind in that area. I never knew that little kids his age had bikes until I had a play group over here and all the moms said that their 3 year old boys were riding bikes (with training wheels of course). I felt like a bad mommy for not exposing my child to bikes yet. So, we have been talking about getting one soon and randomly we found a great deal on a Spiderman bike and so we walked out of Target with a new bike and a helmet that cost more than the bike!! I didn't have my camera but I will never in my lifetime forget the joy on my Big Boy's face as he rode that bike all the way from the back of the store to the front. He was so proud of his new bicycle. As he was proudly pushing his bike to the front, Little Boy was screaming and crying the whole time because he wanted one too. :)

So today he hit the road with daddy. Here are some pictures of our bike time today:
Our new shiny helmet:

Putting air in the tires with daddy:

What a big big boy he is!

Little Boy wants in on some bike riding action too!

My favorite picture from today with my three favorite boys going on a bike ride!


Yesterday was so crazy that this is what my boys looked like when we finally got home after so much excitement:


I have so much joy in parenting these two little boys. I have so many dreams and hopes for them and I pray for them daily. I ask God to help me bring them up to love people and to love God with all their heart, soul, and mind. I love these two boys so much that sometimes I hurt at the thought of them going through tough times and trials. I hope that they know that I will always be here for them no matter what.

These three things yesterday remind me that these boys are only mine for a season and then they will be men and influence this world on their own.

I hope that you have a fabulous Saturday! We're off to a birthday party and to register Big Boy for soccer this fall - and that is a whole nother post!!!

my big surprise at home ....

Okay for those of you that have been wondering about what a I came home to the other day here it is. Aaron wrote about it just nicely on his blog so there is no reason for me to ellaborate on here. GO to aaronivey.com and you can read all about it.

All I have to say is that it was the worst smell I have ever smelled in my ENTIRE life. Nothing compares to this. I never even smelt anything this bad in a remote village in Haiti.

I'm over it now. It's not funny yet,but it will be soon.

Commitment to running

What a commitment this guy has to running this race in Atlanta.

running again.

Well I have done it again. That is I have signed myself up for another half marathon. I really enjoyed running the last one and was super proud at the dedication I put forth into training and proud of myself for accomplishing running 13 miles at one time.

Now you might be saying to yourself, Oh this will be easy for her since it was only two months ago she was in great shape and ran 13 miles. Ha! Wouldn't that be nice. I have been kicking myself for the fact that in the past two months I worked out maybe 10 times and ran maybe 5 times. UGH what was I thinking. I registered last week for this race that is towards the end of Sept and hit the pavement again last weekend. My first run was 2 miles and I had to run 5 min and walk 2 min. The next day the same, and then the next day I ran the 2 without walking. Today was 3 and I didn't walk, so that was good. I'm back in the training game and enjoy it. I seem to work out a lot more regular when I have a workout schedule on my calendar and a goal in sight!

So if you live in my area and want to get in on this fun you better register soon because they are only taking 1,000 participants since it is the innagural race!

Home Sweet Home!

There is absolutely NOTHING like being home. I love it. I love to travel, but I love to come home to my own bed. I had been gone for 22 days and slept in five different beds and unpacked and repacked 6 different times. I could not wait to get in my own bed last night. I know hubby is used to this and I do think it would be easier if it weren't also two little boys to pack and repack over and over and have them sleeping in "strange" places!

After 12 and a half hours in the car yesterday we pulled into our town around 5:45 and headed straight to the grocery store! Fun! I knew there would be nothing at home for dinner or breakfast so a quick trip had to be made.

I woke up this morning and was startled not knowing where I was! Last night when Big Boy got into bed he smiled and said I love my bed! He has missed his bed too!

I arrived home last night to one of the worst things in the world and I will blog about it when I am recovered and won't have the strong desire to curse the whole time I writing about it and reliving it..... stay tuned!

house looking

Aaron and I are always going back and forth on buying a new house. We have started to look around and talk about putting out house up on the market. We only have two bedrooms here and so if a new child will be entering our house anytime soon we would like to have another bedroom.

Check this out. We are so blessed in America and we don't even know it!

They are both mine.

I think that many parents wonder if they will love a child that they did not birth. Will they look at this child and see that the child didn’t come from them? Will there always be something missing between them and their child? If adoptive parents have biological children will they then wonder if their bio child will have a bigger place in their heart than the child that they adopt.

I had these same questions about two years ago when we were waiting for our youngest son to join our family. At the time I didn’t know when or where he would come from. I didn’t even know if our child would be a girl or a boy, but I was falling in love with our child before we even laid eyes on him. I often wondered if I would feel differently about this child as opposed to the child I conceived with my husband and carried in my big fat belly for 9 months. I bonded with our oldest while he was in my belly. I felt him move and keep me up at night with his acrobatic dances. I pushed all 9 pounds and 11 ounces of him out of me. God created him to be born of me. I was in love from the minute the pregnancy test said positive. Would I ever be that in love with this next child?

These questions in my heart bothered me. I was ashamed that I was even entertaining these thoughts in my head. I was embarrassed to voice these thoughts for fear of how people might think of me. I prayed and prayed and prayed for this love to overcome me when I met my new baby. I prayed for my child to know me and to recognize my voice. I prayed for us to bond immediately and for the love that I had for our first child to be duplicated in a miraculous way for this child that I would not birth.

Throughout the 15 months of waiting for our baby I fell in love with him. I prayed for him and his birth family. I prayed for protection and health for our baby and his mom. I slowly and surely fell in love with a baby that I had never met. While we were at the hospital waiting for our baby to be born I remember the excitement that was going through my body. I could not wait to meet him for the first time. To see what he looks like. To feel his skin and to talk to him, I yearned to be with him. God was surely present that whole weekend and Aaron and I fell in love with our little boy the instant we laid eyes on him. It was as if we had known him all along.

When they held up our little baby boy I cried just the same as I had cried the first time I laid eyes on my oldest son after birthing him. I was in love. My love was real. My love was pure. This love was given to me by God to allow me to open my heart and soul to a child that I had nothing to do with in creating.

I guess I’ve been thinking about this lately because I talk to a lot of people who have biological children and have entertained the idea of adopting. They have felt the gentle tug at their heart by God and have been ignoring it for years. They are not sure if they could really love a child that they didn’t birth. I am here to tell you that YES you can. God’s love is big and God’s love sees no boundaries. That is how I love a child I didn’t birth. I love him the same as I love the child I birthed; I see no difference. There is no difference. They are both mine. They are both mine. They are both mine.

THINK OF ME

Struggle with $$$$$

If I am going to be completely honest on here I will tell you that I struggle with the want for more things. Bigger and Better things to be exact. Since I am being honest I can also say that I have come so far over the past few years in this struggle. God is growing me and stretching me so much but I have so far to go.

It seems as though whenever you venture out of your comfort zone and head to a poor country for a mission trip you must come back changed. It is impossible to not be changed. To look around and see people with so little and you with so much (material stuff that is) your heart is always moved to change your lifestyle. For some people that sticks and for others it lasts a few months and then they are right back to the desire for bigger and better.

I struggle with wanting a new diamond wedding band that we never got, I struggle with wanting a bigger and better house, I struggle with wanting more clothes, I struggle with wanting the diamond earrings I've always dreamed of, I struggle with wanting and wanting and wanting.

I also know that I don't need any of those things. I also know that I would rather feed starving children than have any of those things, but I live in America and "STUFF" is always right in front of your face.

This is something that God is always working on with me and I AM SO GRATEFUL for his work in me. I desire to be a giver. I desire one day to give away more money than I make. I desire to feed the hungry, clothe the clotheless and shelter the homeless. I have big dreams for this stuff and I know that God is constantly reminding me of how a Christ follower is to treat the "neighbors" around him or her.

We were with a pastor named Francis Chan this past week at Student Life. Go visit Aaron's blog to read what decision he recently made about building a new building for his church.

Aaron and I struggle with churches that spend MILLIONS on student buildings full of the latest and greatest video games and stuff. These kids have all this at home and we are just feeding them full of their desire for bigger and better. These poor kids expect this in their life. They expect stuff. I pray and hope that my kids NEVER expect stuff. We do hardly any Christmas gifts. Nothing extravagant. Do I want to b;uy my kids everything - YES. It is hard for me not to. But I can't. For them I can't. For me I can't. For the kids starving in Haiti I can not.

I am not saying that if you buy your kids everything they want you are bad parents. Do I think you should - NO WAY, but that is your business and not mine. I'm just expressing to you how God is working in our lives at our home.

Check out this video above called THINK OF ME and tell me what you think. I was convicted BIG time, especially since me myself has spent $16 at Starbucks this past week. That is not good. No need for you to yell at me, I'm already dealing with this in my own heart and mind.

last day of vacation

Today my "vacation" is coming to an end. It is always bitter sweet to end the vacation. You are ready to get back to life, and yet not ready to leave the fun life you've been leading for a week. I'm looking forward to seeing my sweet boys again, and yet wishing Aaron was coming with me to see them too!

It has been a great week of lots of eating out (one of my TOP FAVORITE things to do), lots of couple time, and me by the pool reading a great book and soaking up the rays! That is my idea of a great week.

So, today around noon I head back to real life. Back to my boys, back to being a mommy and back to what I love doing.

sleeping good.

Two nights down and one to go here with my hubby in Padre. I have had the BEST two nights of sleep that I have had in a long time. No baby monitor to listen to, no children within 10 feet of your bed, no sharing beds with children - NOPE just me and my hubby in a KING size bed. I LOVE it!

I love my kids more than anything, but nothing beats a week alone in a hotel room with no kids!